About 10 days ago I hurt my back. I was sitting down and did it awkwardly, protecting my broken toe. It was one of those silly twists in the wrong direction and the minute I did it I knew I was in big trouble. I've been blessed to not have been plagued with back problems in many years. The last time I felt this kind of pain was before my oldest son was even born and that was 28 years ago. But when this happened, it was that same kind of pain and I knew instantly I was in for a long haul. Yikes, talk about needing the Lord's strength. I need it everyday just to get through the ups and downs of living with MS, throw in a few others calamities on top and I'm having to kick up my prayer life to a whole new level. This verse has been a daily one for me from Philippians 4:13: "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Thank you Lord that I can turn to you for everything.
May was quite a month for me. Unfortunately, it seems like it's been one thing after the other. The first week in I severely broke my left big toe. That was one of those stupid MS things. Lost my balance in the middle of the night and fell down on the way to the bathroom, banging my toe right into the corner of the wall. My 4 little toes went one way and my big toe went in the opposite direction. Luckily, my MS numbness had it advantages that night and I felt really no pain until the next morning when I woke up and pulled my sock off. I said "Are you kidding me"? How did I sleep through the night with my toe looking like this? One trip and 4 hours in the emergency room took take of that.
May was quite a month for me. Unfortunately, it seems like it's been one thing after the other. The first week in I severely broke my left big toe. That was one of those stupid MS things. Lost my balance in the middle of the night and fell down on the way to the bathroom, banging my toe right into the corner of the wall. My 4 little toes went one way and my big toe went in the opposite direction. Luckily, my MS numbness had it advantages that night and I felt really no pain until the next morning when I woke up and pulled my sock off. I said "Are you kidding me"? How did I sleep through the night with my toe looking like this? One trip and 4 hours in the emergency room took take of that.
Ouch- this was my broken toe~
I hobbled into the orthopedic doctor for a followup a few weeks later. He gave me a different and more stable boot to wear with some advice about keeping it elevated and staying clear of any objects. "It can be swollen for up to 6 months" he told me. "I don't move too fast anyway Doc, it shouldn't be a problem" is what I said back.
Little did I know that only two more weeks would go by after nursing my toe, that I would be back into see him again, this time wreathing in pain from my back. "What did you do this time Mrs. Watts?, he grinned as he looked at the xray I'd had taken downstairs a few minutes earlier.
He then proceeded to tell me as he pointed to the light box that I had the beginning of spinal stenosis. That is something I was very familiar with because my Mom had it too and he confirmed that is is congenital. He showed me the spot on the xray where the problem was, and then described the course of treatment we needed to follow: The wonder drug Celebrex first, then a short course of steroids if Celebrex didn't help. If the oral steroids didn't do it, then a shot of steroids into my spine would be next and if all that didn't work, we were headed for surgery.
O'vey - "What a month I'm having I thought" the words uttered by Eugene Levy in the hilarious film Splash with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah from 25 years ago. Actually he said "What a week I'm having," but for me, "What a month" hit it right on the head.
Having said that I have a whole new appreciation and empathy for people who are bedridden for any amount of time. It's a drag. I'm going stir crazy. What's getting me through the days is prayer, my laptop and facebook when I haven't been sleeping, Words with Friends, TV, reading and lots of pain pills to take away the wrenching and nagging ache in my back.
Of course, I'm so blessed to have my wonderful husband, who has really had to kick up my care taking (God Bless Him) to a whole new level during this time. What a guy, and what a blessing that man is. He truly has been waiting on me hand and foot because I haven't been capable of doing anything while I heal up. I haven't even felt well enough to go into the pool yet either, which means I'm really down and out. I'm hoping to be able to get there in the next few days. Just moving has been tremendously painful. You know how a bad back is - there's no where to go, it's like a bad tooth - you just can't get away from it.
Anyway, I've thought a lot the past month about my paraplegic friend down the street, Russell. God Bless him, he lays in that bed of his day after day. Yet he has one of the best attitudes I've ever seen. He absolutely amazes me. Knowing he's a Christian, I'm convinced that God's peace surrounds him each day and gets him through the ups and downs of having a body that does not cooperate with his very sharp mind. That has got to be what gets him through. Psalm 46:1 comes to mind "God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble." I know that the Lord has been my refuge and my strength for many, many days, especially this past month. I am so fortunate to have those loving arms to run to.
Our Refuge and Our Strength © Morgan Weistling
I've also thought a lot about my parents this last month, who were both pretty much bedridden for the last few years of their lives. It was so hard to see them laying in those beds every time I was able to go up there for a visit. Now, I have a whole new appreciation for what they were going through because I've lived only a very, very small part of it. I think maybe empathy is something you really don't get until you've been there, done that. I'm thanking God that I had enough energy today to write this blog. I've tried several times, but couldn't do it because of the pain. But today - success! Thank you Jesus!
We never know what each new day brings.Treasure each moment you have. Treasure the little things that the Lord gives you. Count your blessings, not your troubles, because you never know what you may have to face tomorrow. Thank the Lord for each new day because it truly is a gift. That's why they call it the "present." Here is a great verse of Thanksgiving: Psalm 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" One thing I've learned over the years, in ALL circumstances Give Him PRAISE! Therefore I am praising Him right now through my present pain, and believing and resting in His promises. I am claiming my complete Healing in Jesus Name!
My verses for today are above in red.
My prayer today:
Dear Heavenly Father:
Thank you Lord that you have been right with me through this past month and all these calamities. Heal me Lord, and be with me until I get better. Use me for your good purposes each and every day. I can always count on you and for that I am eternally grateful. I am believing in my healing Lord, in your Son's Name.
In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen and Amen
