In all things, God gets the glory!

The days move slowly in my world. Pretty much confined to the house nowadays because of my increasing disability, I've grown accustomed to the walls of the beautiful home that my husband found for us when we moved to Kentucky 3 1/2 years ago. It's not Florida, and there isn't a pool I can jump into when I want, but there is still beauty right outside my window if I pay attention to God's creation.

It's harder and harder for me to write in this blog because often my thoughts are scattered and  confused, but I will press on towards the goal. If my words seem jumbled that is why. Hang in there with me please.

We live on a quiet street, with an acre of land and woods behind us. There are birds everywhere, rabbits abound and we often see white tail deer at the baseline of our property.We are surrounded by God's beautiful creation if we just open our eyes.

So often we go through life never realizing that every breath we take, every worldly possession we have comes from the Grace of God and His bountiful provision. Sometimes it's real easy to want to take the credit ourselves, but the bottom line is without God opening doors for us, we would be stuck in neutral. Whether it be in our job, our personal relationships, our health, our finances, really any aspect of our lives, the Lord is in charge of it all. All he wants from us is our devotion. If we surrender our lives to Jesus, He will open the doors of Heaven for us and shower us with blessings we can't contain. It really is that simple.

When I got very sick back in 1997, during that excruciating time when I didn't know what I had and the doctors were stumped, I made a life decision and thankfully the Lord has given me His strength to stick to it for all these years. What was that decision?

I made the decision that whatever happened to me, I would use that to Glorify God in all circumstances. I would thank him and Praise Him for giving me the strength to get through each day,  and that I would use whatever happened to be a witness to His Amazing Grace in every relationship I had.

Once I finally had a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, a chronic, progressive debilitating disease of the central nervous system, I had no idea what the future would hold. I was told by the"learned doctors" handling my case, that everyone is different. Every person advances differently. They said MS is a very, very unpredictable disease. I could be in a wheelchair in 5-10 years and then again maybe I wouldn't. That wasn't much of a comfort, but that was my reality.

There wasn't much hope the doctors could give me. I knew for sure that my hope would never come from medical science, it could only come from the one who made me, my Creator. I knew was that the Lord God Almighty was the one that held my future and the only way I was going to be able to survive the uncertainty of living with this crazy disease was to put everything in the Lord's Hands and that is exactly what I did. And when you have the strength to do just that he will give you His incredible Peace that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:7 tell us "7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.And boy, do I ever thank Him for that Peace. It has given me so much strength over the years. 

22 years later, I am happy to say that every day I open my eyes is a good day. The MS has advanced quite a bit. Indeed I am homebound now and in a motorized scooter to get around. But here's the thing, I'm still here. I'm still kicking. I'm still using my time to try and spread the Word of God through my daily devotional posts, my online prayer group and blog. I still have a heartbeat and because of that I believe that the Lord still has a purpose for my life. It's all about Jesus in my mind.
I pray He will continue to use me for His Glory until my last breath.

When you look at your life right now what are you thankful for? How is the Lord using you to bring Him glory? Whatever is going on in your life right now, God wants to use you. Reach out to Him, He will not disappoint. He is waiting for you with open arms and He will get you through whatever is happening in your life, no matter how tragic or overwhelming it may seem to you. God can take that situation and turn it on is head. He is the Creator of the Universe, nothing is too big for Him!

On this 4th of July, as we celebrate this amazing country we live in and the freedoms that we have because of the sacrifices that have been made by those who served, I am thankful that I have the freedom to worship the Lord God I love, the way that I want to.

We have so much to be thankful for today and everyday and in my mind, in everything, in every way, God gets the Glory!

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Lord Jesus, 

Thank you Lord. Thank you for my many blessings. Thank you for my devoted husband, my family, my beautiful home and everything you give us each day Lord. Help me Lord to continue to serve you in any capacity that I can. Thank you for this free country that we live in. Thank you that we have a President that loves it so much and honors its veterans and you Lord. Continue to watch over this land and our people. Use me Lord. Use me to bring you glory each day!

Amen

Ron Watts, a man after God's own heart

It's been a while since I've written here. As this Multiple Sclerosis advances through my body, I find it more and more difficult to get my thoughts together in writable form. That plus my cataracts are getting worse all the time. Yikes...The cognitive side of MS is real for me and frustrating as it is, I'm thankful that I can still continue to spend time spreading the word of God through my Facebook and Instagram daily devotionals and my online prayer group for women with MS. That's so important to me and I will do it until my last breath. That is the least I can do for the Lord considering everything He does for me each day.

As much as I loved writing in this blog these past 9 years, it has been increasingly difficult because of my health issues, but even if it takes me a month to get my thoughts together, I strongly feel God pulling me to tell you the story about a wonderful ambassador for Jesus named Ron Watts and how the Lord has used this man for His Glory. So hear goes....

I met Ron when I took our first born son Eric who was 3 at the time to Sunday school at our neighborhood, Vamo United Methodist, in 1987. As I took Eric, (nickname Biff) into the Sunday school to drop him off for the first time, this very tall, lanky boisterous fellow approached me. "Welcome to Vamo Church young lady, what's your name"? I said Nicki Watts, he chucked and said " Really? Well, can you believe it? My name is Ron Watts, and I think we're going to be very good friends Nicki Watts, I can feel it." And looking back, Ron was right, because from that very first day, my heart belonged to Jesus and with Ron and all the other dear Christian friends I met at Vamo Church.

Ron's wonderful welcome set the stage for a 30+ friendship with me and every member of my family. That man in particular and those many Christian friends I made at that church have prayed our family through so many crisis' I've lost count. For years, as far as I was concerned, Ron was the patriarch of that church. He was the lay leader. He was a member of the choir. He had a bible class that led many to Jesus. But above all the tangible ways he served the Lord through the church, Ron was first and foremost an evangelist. He would talk to anyone and everyone he met about Jesus. It might be on the golf course, it might be at a party, it might be at a church function or on the Christmas tree lot (our church sold them for years), but Ron was always talking about Jesus and his love. His simple phrase to any newcomer he met was. "How are you with Jesus?" Some people were offended, but with Ron, you always knew where you stood. He was all about sharing the love of Jesus with everyone. Just a lovely, lovely man.

                

Ron and I in 1999, when he won the layperson of the year from the Lighthouse News

Fast forward 25 years. Ron and his sweet wife Sarina moved up to Sun City Center, a retirement community in Florida. Ron and Sarina joined a baptist church, and we were fortunate enough to go visit them at few times before we moved out of Florida in 2016. Ron joined the choir and began to share his love of the Lord with a whole new congregation. It was wonderful to see him shining for Jesus, like he always did.

Visiting Ron and Sarina in Sun City Center, Christmas 2013

    with Ted and Carol Smith, Nicki and Steve Watts, our former Pastor Brent and wife Mary Byerman

Unfortunately, a few years ago, Ron was diagnosed with Dementia, and for the last year or so he's been in memory care nearby the apartment that he and Sarina shared. He's had many health challenges. I keep in touch with Sarina every few months, checking up on them, and the last time I talked to her she told me an extraordinary story about Ron.

Many days because of his advancing dementia, he doesn't make much sense at all, and Sarina told me,, "Nicki I get so frustrated. One day he's fine, and the next day I can't understand a word he's saying. I get so discouraged." Such is the horrible disease of dementia.

Recently, Ron had an episode that landed him in the hospital. Sarina almost lost him she said, he was in a wheelchair, and once released they sent him to rehab. In the rehab facility, they taught him how to walk again among other things.

One of his physical therapists was a woman from Mongolia. Of course, Ron began talking with her about Jesus. She told Ron, I pray to Buddha every night. Ron told Sarina that he told her "Well, you can pray to Buddha all you want, but praying to Buddha won't get you into heaven. You need Jesus."

Now Sarina wasn't there and didn't witness this, so she wasn't sure exactly what was said. Could this be in Ron's mind, or did this actually happen? Sarina never met the woman and Ron finished with rehab and returned to the memory care facility. Life went back to their new normal for both of them. Sarina goes to see Ron most days and spends time with him. He's slipping daily, but thankfully he still knows her and still loves to talk about Jesus.

I often sent them picture of the family,and Sarina says whenever I do, Ron brightens right up and knows everyone in the pictures. We recently added a new grandson to our family and when I sent those new pictures of little Ben, Ron said, "He looks just like Biff, doesn't he?" So, the good old Ron is still in there somewhere.

So a few weeks ago, Sarina gets a call from one of the Elders at the baptist church they attended before Ron got sick. He told her that this woman from Mongolia began coming to their church a few weeks ago and she was getting baptized on Sunday and she said it was all because of a guy named Ron Watts. Sarina almost fell out of her chair. The story was true all along. Ron was doing what he does best.

As sick as this man is, his love of Jesus Christ is so ingrained in him that he is still winning souls for the Kingdom. Praise the Lord! I got chills down my spine! Thank you Lord. As long as Ron is still winning souls for the Lord and is needed on this earth, I don't think he's going anywhere.

Isn't that incredible story? Talk about a Easter miracle! God can use anyone at any stage in their lives. I was so uplifted by this story, I knew that somehow, I had to figure this out so I could spread the word to everyone. It's taken me a few weeks to get my thoughts on this together but it's well worth it. Thank you Lord for giving me the cognition to get through this. Continue to use our friend Ron like you always have.

Mark 16:15 tell us "He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." And that is exactly what Ron has been doing for years and years. Thank you Lord for Ron's continuing ministry. We have been so blessed to have this extraordinary man of God in our lives.

My verse for today is from Mark 16:15

My prayer for today/

Lord, thank you for Ron Watts. Thank you for his strong ministry for you for all these years. He has brought many souls into Your Kingdom. Be with him Lord. Comfort him as he goes through his days. Give him the strength and courage he needs to face his health challenges. Give him Your peace that surpasses all understanding.

Amen

Standing on the Promises of God

I remember a sweet friend of mine from Florida. She was in our bible study and boy was she a strong prayer warrior. I recall her telling me that she prayed for her husband's salvation for many years, never giving up hope, but being very discouraged along the way many times. Finally, on his death bed, he accepted Jesus into his heart. The point of the story being, keep praying no matter what happens. You never know when the Lord is going to answer your prayer. Sometimes it comes quickly, and sometimes it can take months and yes, it can even take years.Stay the course, keep lifting up your prayer to the Lord.

We never know how God is going to move in a situation or when. He is the only one with the perfect timing, not us. We want everything right now. That's not how the Lord works. He's on a different time table than us and only He knows how all the pieces fit together in each of our lives. Remember this verse? 2 Peter 3:8.... But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. We are definitely on different timetables! 

It is so hard to wait on the Lord. But the Bible tell us that if we do, we will be strengthened along the way. Isaiah 40:29 tells us "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." One of the first verses I learned to memorize from the bible is this powerful one from the book of Isaiah about waiting on Him and His perfect timing. It has served me well over the years as I have learned to wait on the Lord through my diagnosis of MS some 20 years ago. I'm still waiting on my healing from this disease. I'm not sure if and when it will happen while I am still on this earth. Maybe I have to wait until I enter into glory to be healed. Maybe the Lord wants to use me just as I am, sickened from disease. Of course I want it to be right now, but what if God has a different plan? That's just one of my prayers. But no matter the prayer, we have to wait on the Lord to answer it in His perfect time. 

Isaiah 40:31

"But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint."

Whatever your prayer and whatever your problem, the Lord hears your cries. He is not deaf to your pain. Just remember that the teacher is always silent during the test. Your situation could be the biggest test of your life. 1 Peter 1:7 reminds us  "These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

As you wait on the answer to your heartfelt prayer, you will, no doubt,encounter terrible disappointments and stumbling blocks along the way. Your prayer may be for yourself, or for a loved one who is sick or for a wayward child who is lost. It may be for a friend or co-worker. It could be anything or anyone.

We live in a fallen world. Satan, the great deceiver, is constantly nipping at every one of us, wanting to discourage, confuse, confound, and stir up everything. The Bible is very clear about him and his motives. 1 Peter 5:8 tells us loud and clear: Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. He whispers in your ear telling you that the Lord could care less about your prayer or your situation. Don't believe it friend, That is a lie!!! 

God cares about every detail of his children's lives. He knows what's going on. He sees your pain, he is with you. The Bible tells us that Jesus sticks with us through it all. Proverbs 18:24 "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

So I encourage you to give it all to God. Stand on His Amazing Promises. Believe with all your heart that your prayer will be answered by Him. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. But you must be strong and believe with all your heart that He will do just as He says. Matthew 17:20 tells us.... "Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

One of my favorite hymns is Standing on the Promises of God. It gives me hope, when I am weary. Be blessed by this beautiful song, remembering that the Lord is there with you through the pain and while you are waiting for His perfect answer to your problem. He loves you so much.

My verses for today are above in red.

My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father:

You know what is on my heart. I am believing in Your Promises and perfect Timing. I am believing that the answer to my prayer is coming because you are a God who delivers. Give us the strength we need to endure the waiting period, because we know you will come through just when we least expect it. 

I love you Lord and I thank you in advance for the answer to this prayer.

I pray, Amen and Amen

Are you ready to meet Jesus?

As I come to terms today with the sudden loss of yet another MS warrior that has rocked the MS online world, I can't help but think of my own morality and the mortality of all those suffering with this awful, unpredictable debilitating disease.

For many of us with MS, we are home bound, or definitely in a slower mode than most in this fact-paced world. When we wake up in the morning or going about our day we turn on the computer and are expecting to connect with all of our friends on Facebook, Instagram or any social media platform.

Suddenly, some sad news spreads like wildfire and we learn about yet another unexpected loss of a sweet soul that we have learned to love, sharing their struggles and their story with MS and, we are taken aback. In the last 6 months or so, we've lost 6 souls with MS, all still in the prime of their lives. What's happening many of us MS'ers are asking? What can we do?

Through social media, many of us have been blessed to be able to share our struggles with this disease and take comfort from their sharing their intimate stories, their words of wisdom, uplifting poems, bible verses, images, devotionals, prayers, funny stories, blogs, and the many online Facebook groups devoted to help those of us living with MS.

It really does help us cope with the day to day ins and outs of living with MS. Many of us have never met each other personally, (although I have had the pleasure of meeting quite a few MS'ers over the years.) But we all still feel very connected to each other. We are a special family, and when one of us leaves, there is a big hole.

Those we have unexpectedly lost this year: Linda Rousay, Barbara Garcia, Barbara Bobbi Wohl Hale, Phil Weihofen, Bob Parisi, Jayne Thomas.

Death is something most people don't ever want to talk about, they say it's morbid, yet, death is certain for all of us. That is just a fact of life and we all know that, but when it happens suddenly and unexpectedly somehow it puts all of us on edge, when in reality it shouldn't, should it?

Today, as I mourn the loss of another one of my MS friends, I'm thinking a lot about my own mortality and am comforted that I know when I leave my earthly body, I know exactly what is going to happen to me. Can you say the same?

2 Corinthians 5:8 says "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." I'm not worried at all, I'm actually looking forward to death which might sound strange, but to me it isn't strange at all. I trust in Jesus. I know what is going to happen and am confident that what awaits me is quite glorious! I gotta tell you that to know exactly what is going to happen to you when you breathe your last breath on this earth and to be able to take comfort in that. is really quite something.

So, I ask you friend, do you know Jesus as your personal Savior? Jesus is the only way to get to heaven. You can't earn your way. You can't get to heaven being a good person. It doesn't matter how many nice things you do to help others while living on this earth. Nothing you can ever say or do will help you earn your way into heaven. Salvation is a gift from God, plain and simple. He sacrificed His one and only Son to give you that gift.

The Bible is clear about Salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us " For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast."

We are all sinners, and have been separated from God. Only by Jesus' incredible sacrifice on the Cross are we reconciled back to God. He took our sins and bore the weight of them when he died on that Cross. When we accept Jesus as our personal Savior by confessing our sins and turning from our evil ways, He saves us and we can then enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus is our intercessor to the Father and today He sits at the right Hand of the Lord, interceding on our behalf. Pretty cool, isn't it?

I want you to have the same assurance that I have about where you will spend eternity. It ways heavy on my heart that not everyone I know and love will be with me in eternity. Everyone wants to think that all good people go to heaven because that is what happens when you die, right? If you are good, you go up, if not, you go down. But that is not what the Bible says. The Bible says you must know Jesus as your personal savior to get the golden ticket into heaven. Being a good person has nothing to do with where you spend eternity.

Most people believe in God. Well, if you believe in God, you must believe in the Bible, the inerrant Word of God. And the Bible is very clear about heaven and how to get there. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Then in John 3:36, Jesus goes on to say, "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on them." 

I definitely don't want to be in that last category, do you? Do you want God's wrath on you? Not me, that's for sure. So I urge you friend, you need to get yourself right with God and with his son Jesus Christ, while there is still time. Accept Jesus as your personal Savior, and be absolutely, positively certain that when you leave this earth, you know where you are headed. 

For me, I can't wait. Finally free of my earthly shackles of MS, I can joyfully leap into Jesus' waiting arms.

When you accept Jesus into your heart, you begin a whole new life. Not only are you assured of where you will spend eternity, you immediately have the Savior of the World in your heart and in your life to bring you peace that surpasses all understanding. Suddenly all the problems that you encounter don't quite seem as overwhelming as before because, through prayer and supplication, you have an advocate in your corner. 

Let me close this by saying, please friends, if you don't know Jesus, open your heart to Him. You won't regret it. It will give you peace to face anything life throws at you. And you will begin a whole new glorious life in Jesus name!

My verses are above in red.

My prayer for today

Dearest Heavenly Father,

I pray for everyone that does not know you. Open their hearts Lord Help them turn to you, and give their hearts to Jesus. Have them learn to be certain about their eternity. Give them the courage to make the right choice to start a new life in your Son's precious name, Amen

The Language of Love

Last weekend, the world watched as American actress Meghan Markle married Prince Harry in a spectacle of immense grandeur. It was every girls dream, right? You get whisked away and marry your Prince Charming. It really was quite something to behold. Of course the Royal Family did it up right, and spared no expense in giving Harry and his bride to be every thing their hearts desired. I'm sure it was a dream some true for both of them.

              Prince Harry and his beautiful bride Meghan, May 19, 2018

Yes, it was a fairy tale wedding, but now it's over and the hard part comes, living up to those precious vows they took before millions.

Well. as we approach our 40th Wedding Anniversary tomorrow, May 26, 1978-2018, let me tell you a little about my life and my real life Prince Charming. He is an extraordinarily loyal and faithful man who has lived up to every vow he took all those years ago, even in the midst of extreme pressure, turmoil, sickness and heartache. 

                                                                Steve and I on our wedding day, May 26th, 1978

When you get married you never know what lies ahead and you never know if the person you marry will have the gumption to stay true to their vows. You pray they do, but you just really never know, especially in the world we live in right now. The world is a messy place and Satan is all around, just temping you to go the wrong way and make a wrong, unGodly decision.The Bible is clear in 

1 Peter 15:8 " Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." 

So you enter into a new marriage with love and adoration. You could clearly see it in the faces of Meghan and Harry last weekend as they took their vows. It's so sweet to watch. But will it really last?

In those first years, I think all newly married couples are often overwhelmed with the love and devotion they feel for the person they just joined their lives with.

Everything is usually rosy in those early years, You can' get enough of each other both physically, mentally and emotionally. Often, children are born or adopted and they become another bond between the two of you. You get so much joy watching them grow and learning about the world. Your lives settle into a routine and you just go about things, enjoying the special moments and memories you are creating.  Everything is moving along as planned. You have such a wonderful life, it's hard to believe anything could ever disrupt it.

And then, just like that BAM!!!! One trip to the doctor can turn your world totally upside down. All "your" plans are suddenly thrown out the window and you find out very quickly who is really in charge of your life, and believe me, it ain't you! God is the one with the plan, only He knows the course of our lives.

That happened to me back in January 1998. After a month of every test known to man, and a brain biopsy (they thought I had brain cancer) I was finally diagnosed with a chronic debilitating illness, Multiple Sclerosis, that would change the course of my life and the life of my entire family. Looking back, I was overjoyed to learn I had MS because at one point I thought I had metastasized brain cancer.  I thought MS would be a cake walk. Shows you how much I knew. I had no idea of the challenges that would lie ahead.

I've often wondered why God allowed MS to take over my body. And yes, there have been days when I have even mistakenly thought God allowed this to happen to punish me somehow. But in retrospect, I repented of those thoughts, because I know a loving God wouldn't do that. We all have our cross to bear, that's just life. MS is just my cross.

Through the last 20 years since my diagnosis, thankfully, the Lord has used me to help others through my suffering. And really, after all, Jesus suffered tremendously during his time here on earth, why should any of us be spared?  Romans 5:3-5 reminds us "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Now, honestly, I gotta say, many days it's pretty hard to rejoice in my sufferings, but I do try to endure knowing that the Lord is producing strong character in me, and hopefully I am using it for His Glory. Everything the Lord does has a purpose and I know that. And I am confident that one day, I will know the full story of why I was chosen to carry this burden called Multiple Sclerosis. 

I knew nothing about MS or the impact it would have on me or my family when I was diagnosed over 20 years ago. Living with MS hasn't been easy for any of us. It is a progressive, debilitating, insidious disease that mows down everything in it's path. I can see why it has been nicknamed the MonSter. And for me, truth be told, it manifested itself in me becoming a complete control freak. Sad to say, but that is exactly what happened. Looking back, I'm not sure why I became that way, maybe it was because I felt other parts of my body and life were out of my control, and I needed to be in control of something. I wanted to take over the everything: our lives, the kids, my husband and everything else I could get my hands on. I know now that was a profound mistake. Our family is still reeling from my destructive behavior and the devastating effects of it. I will always regret my many mistakes. I thank the Lord we have a forgiving God and I married a forgiving husband. I wouldn't be standing here today without either of them.

But here's the amazing thing. When the pressure got turned up, when the teenager years hit and the house was in constant turmoil, even in the midst of my craziness, it would have been easy for my husband to walk away from all of us, to say, you deal with them and their rebellion, you deal with your illness. You want control of everything..... you've got it baby. I'm sick of it all. I'm out of here.

But, miraculously, and thankfully for me, he didn't. He put his head down and dug deep. He never gave up on them or on me. He has been an unbelievably faithful husband, father, lover, and best friend. 

Believe me, I know I gave him many reasons to walk away, but he never did. He stayed true to his vows. Thank God, he took them very seriously, and through the Grace of God, and with the prayers of many over the years, we are still together 40 years later. Now that is totally a God-Thing! 

That is the real language of love, to have the guts to be able to stay and fight when you want to throw your hands up and walk away. Getting married is the easy part, staying married through all the ups and downs that life throws at you, that is the hard part.

I am blessed to say we were able to stay in the game. It wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, but thank the Lord we were able to stay true to the vow that says "What God has brought together, let no man put asunder."

 Thank you Lord for my wonderful, loving, faithful, strong, funny, endearing husband. I thank you that he had the strength to stay with me through sickness and in health, and through all the turmoil of our lives. He is truly a gift from you. I only pray we can enjoy many, many more happy and less turbulent years together. 

Happy 40th Anniversary darling, I love you to the moon and back!

My verse from today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father, 

Thank you, thank you for my wonderful, loving husband. I am so blessed that you put him in my path all those years ago. Thank you that he had the gumption to stay true to his vows. I am truly blessed.

Amen

It's not about the bunny....

Today I've been thinking about Easter and what is truly means to humanity. Easter, that wonderful time of year when spring occurs and flowers are blooming everywhere has nothing to do with a Easter Lilies, or bunnies or dyed Easter eggs or candy baskets or egg hunts, no matter what the secular world wants you to believe.

Easter has to do with one man, Jesus Christ, dying a brutal death of a cross for the sins of the world. He died, was buried and miraculously rose from the dead on the third day. And there in my friends, lies our hope. If we believe in Jesus, repent of our sins and and turn our lives over to him, we get a free pass into heaven. After we die, we can be sitting at the feet of Jesus. How glorious a thought is that?

God himself became flesh and bones so he could endure the pain and torture for all of us. He took the sins and burdens of mankind upon himself on that Cross and he did it willingly. He knew what his purpose was. It was so brutal and I'm sure he didn't want to do it, but he really never wavered. In the Garden of Gethsemane he prayed " “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39.

Garden at Gethesame where Jesus spent many hours in agonizing prayer prior to his Crucifixion

 (photos courtesy of my friend Mary Byerman)

So, why would God send his one and only son Jesus to this earth to die as an atonement for us and our sins? Because God loves us and God is Holy. Holy God cannot exist with sinful man. After the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, a price had to be paid to reconcile us back to our Holy God and that sacrifice was Jesus Christ dying on that Cross. He was made a sacrificial lamb to atone for our sins. His death was foretold in the Book of Isaiah "He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth." Isaiah 53:7

                                                              Jesus died for you and me. 

In deeper reflection today I've been thinking about suffering in general. Why does the Lord allow suffering? You may suffer emotionally, mentally, or physically, or you may suffer through a terribly hard time in some period of your life. It's hard to know anyone who hasn't suffered at one time or another throughout the course of their lives. But often people suffer and then it's over for a while.

But for me and my suffering, it has just increased as time has gone by. Being an MS patient with a chronic debilitating, progressive disease, I can tell you that I have my daily challenges with suffering and it has increased as the disease has progressed. MS is definitely not a disease for the faint of heart.

I often wonder why God allowed this disease to overtake me? I was a healthy, vibrant, happy working woman, wife and mother of two young boys when I was stricken. Understandingly, I was searching for answers. I remember clearly my very wise Godly pastor at the time, Brent, telling me  "Nicki, God didn't bring this sickness on upon you, but if you let Him, he can use you through this illness to touch others and bring Glory to Him." Such a wise man! 

And I have tried to do just that. I have to admit as the years have gone by and my mobility has been severely challenged, it has been increasingly difficult. Not being able to drive for about 6 years now, being homebound is very challenging, but now with the invention of email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, you can reach people around the world you may not have been able to otherwise. Thank you Lord!!

Honestly I have to tell you that I often wonder why I'm still here. I've had many of my MS friends who have passed on, but still I remain. I am just trusting in God's plan, knowing that He knows what he's doing and he must have more work for me to do. I'll just keep plugging along, praising my Lord at every opportunity.

On really bad days, of which there have been quite a few of late, I just keep my eyes extra focused on the Lord. He is my strength. Any suffering I may endure pales in comparison to the suffering my Savior did on that Cross. One verse I cling to that helps me a lot is from James 1:12 " Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." So, I just keep on persevering, trusting in Him.

So my friends, Easter is definitely not about the bunny! It's about one man, Jesus Christ, who came here, lived a blameless life and died at the age of 33 from a brutal senseless death. And He did it for us. He came so that we may have what he has, Eternal life with God. 

He died such a horrible death on Good Friday, but oh friends, what a glory awaits on Resurrection Day! Happy Easter Everyone!

My verses for today are above in red.

My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your son, Thank you for his sacrifice, Where would we be if not for Jesus? He is our hope and light in this world. I pray that everyone that reads this blog might be touched and turn their lives over to you. Help open their eyes Lord to see Jesus for who he is and what he did for us.

Amen and Amen

Gone but never forgotten.....

This past week the world lost a woman I truly admired, Barbara Garcia. I owe her a lot, as do hundreds of other MS patients in the Tampa Bay area who were searching and searching for a way to improve their daily challenge of living with debilitating symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis.

Barbara with her beloved husband, Robert

Enter CCSVI, Chronic CerebroSpinal Venous Insufficiency. A venous angioplasty procedure discovered by Dr. Paulo Zamboni,whose own wife was suffering with MS. Dr. Zamboni believed that MS was not an auto-immune disease, but instead a problem with blood flow as it was first described when it was discovered in 1868 by French neurologist  Jean-Martin Charcot.

                                                                       Dr. Paulo Zamboni

Dr. Zamboni's discovery, after years of research, CCSVI, was first performed in the U.S. at Stanford University by Dr. Michael Dake. He was approached by a woman, Joan Beal, who was looking to help her own husband suffering with MS. Joan had done her research and she sought and located Dr. Dake

Dr. Dake agreed and did the procedure with some pretty remarkable results. Shortly thereafter Joan began a Facebook Page CCSVI in MS and the word began to spread around the world. Everyone began asking questions about what this new procedure was, how they could get it, and would and could it really help them too? There was HOPE in the MS world, something that is in short supply in the lives of people living with MS.

The social media giant Facebook was back in it's infancy back then, having only been around a few years, but when you have any news of something that can help people who live with this debilitating disease, news travels fast and let me tell you, it began spreading like wildfire.

I was learning about CCSVI on Facebook through Joan and began talking to people, new friends I met on Facebook. Meanwhile my friend Barb was hot on the trail too. She began searching doctors in the Tampa area that could perform this for her. I remember her telling me that she opened the phone book under interventional radiologists, said a prayer and her hand landed on Arslan. So, she contacted Dr. Bulent Arslan, an accomplished interventional radiologist practicing at Moffitt Cancer Center. She approached him and pleaded her case.

Dr. Arslan did his homework and decided to help Barb and in July 2010 she became the first person in the Tampa Bay area to have the CCSVI venous angioplasty procedure done. Others soon followed. I was patient #4 and others from around the country began flocking to him to try improve their lives. There were other interventional radiologists who began to get involved in the area too. It seemed to us MS patients, that this group of doctors seemed to be the most compassionate of professionals. They actually listened to you and empathized with your problems, something that is sometimes in short supply in the neurological community, at least from my perspective.

CCSVI was a hot topic in the MS community, at least in the tech savy MS community. You certainly weren't going to learn of this from your neurologist. They began to see the interventional radiologists as a bunch of cowboys lassoing their MS patients up and stealing them away. After all, MS is an auto-immune disease, as medical science redirected the disease in the 1950's. right? But for me, and for alot of others, MS seemed to be more of a vascular disease. I for one always had terrible circulation and bad varicose veins, so it made sense that proper blood flow was part of the problem.

And after I did months of research myself and learned about Dr. Arslan, when first CCSVI procedure was done in August 2010, I saw some pretty dramatic results as well. Gone were the bone-crushing, my head in a vice headaches that had plagued me for years. My fatigue level was dramatically reduced,. I used to have to lay down every few hours, but now I was able to have a life, being up and alert for 7-8 hrs at a time. My cognitive function was also dramatically improved. And also gone were those terrible burning ears which had also plagued for so many years. I felt exhilarated to say the least, something I hadn't felt in many, many years.

When Dr. Arslan told me that my jugular veins, the main drainage from my brain were both 70% blocked it made sense. While CCSVI never claimed to be a cure for MS, getting my blood flowing properly out of my brain certainly helped many of my worst MS symptoms.

I knew I had to do something to tell others about this remarkable procedure so I reached out to the CCSVI Alliance, a newly formed organization, whose main purpose was to educate others about CCSVI and it's relation to MS.

I began working with others in the Alliance, Joan Beal being one of the founders, along with Michelle Brown, the first one to have it done in NY and Sharon Richardson, another one of Dr. Dake's early patients.

With Dr. Arslan's full encouragesment, we decided to have an educational seminar and the first ever CCSVI Walk to spread the word. Barbara Garcia was one of our speakers at the well attended seminar telling others about her astounding results and how she was enjoying walking unaided for the first time in years.She said one of her biggest joys was being able to hold her granddaughter on her hip just like a normal healthy grandma. She was also able to travel overseas and enjoy her life like never before. What a blessings that was for her.

In conjunction with the educational seminar we held a fundraising walk called the CCSVI Walk n' Roll. It was held at Lettuce Lake Park in Tampa, with hundred of participants and interested parties. We were able to raise a ton of money for the CCSVI Alliance, which I was very happy about. Here are a couple of wonderful pics from the walk.

CCSVI Walk n'Roll, March 5, 2011 Tampa, Fl.

Me with Dr. Bulent Arslan and Barbara Garcia

CCSVI Walk, left to right, 

Susie Ulrey, Janet Grieco, me, Michelle Sciuto, Michelle Brown & Marsha Mays 

Latest Frontiers in hemodynamics,imaging and
treatment of obstructive venous disease by Dr. Paulo Zamboni

Several organizations were born from CCSVI., the ISNVD (International Society for NeuroVascular Diseases) was the most important. It is still very active today. There is still so much to learn about the vascular connection to multiple sclerosis. Actually, Dr. Zamboni has a new book out because he continues to learn more about MS and the venous/vascular system.

Many of us MS/CCSVIers were blessed to be able to attend one of the ISNVD conventions that was held in Orlando FlL back in 2012. I met new friends from around the country that had CCSVI done. We were a growing community and remain pretty close knit through social media. Even though now we are scattered across the country and even around the world, if and when new information becomes available, we all pass it along to help keep ourselves and other MS'ers informed.

Barb, Dr. Arslan and I at the ISNVD 2012

                                          Barb was so happy to meet Dr. Marion Simka from Poland.

Barbara with Dr. Zamboni at ISNVD 2012

The CCSVI craze has now passed. The neurological community fought hard against this simple vascular procedure that helped so many MS sufferers and sadly, in many ways they won this battle, but the research continues. Thousands of people all over the world had the procedure done, many with long lasting positive effects. Unfortunately, many had their MS symptoms return when their veins closed back up, but for those brief months or maybe years, they were free and were able to live life as an able-bodied person. They were able to experience life as a normal person, maybe if only for a brief while, but for me and for many others, it was worth everything.

So our sweet Barb has left this earth, and is now residing in heaven where she is no longer shackled by the MS that racked her earthly body for most of her life. I'm so saddened for her family, I know it is a tremendous loss. She was only 55 years old. She leaves behind a loving husband, her mother and two daughters and grandchildren. I'm also sorry for those of us who love her and were able to share this CCSVI experience with her. We'll miss being in touch with her. She was a fun gal.

A recent picture of Barb with her family

Yes, I am sad, BUT, and this is a big BUT, I am absolutely THRILLED for my friend. She is now dancing in heaven in front of Jesus, her Savior. For the Bible is very clear. In 2 Corinthians 5: it says "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."

Barb is now with Jesus! She is no longer in pain or in a wheelchair. All her body parts work perfectly again! She is brand new! I also know she is having the time of her life. Honestly, I have to admit, I'm a little jealous. But I know my time will come to meet my redeemer. Until then, I will carry on spreading the Word of God and trying to help those who are hurting in this world, because I know there are so many.

So farewell my very sweet friend. You may be gone from this earth, but you will never be forgotten.

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Dearest Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the life of my sweet friend, your servant Barbara Garcia. She was such a kind soul and her pioneering spirit helped so many suffering with MS. Thank you for her boldness to forge on and learn about CCSVI so she could share it with the world. Thank you for Dr. Zamboni and his discovery and for Dr. Arslan and so many other doctors who were willing to step out of the box to try something new to help those suffering. I will be forever grateful.

Amen