Thursday, October 18, 2012

Each new day is a gift~

I was online a few days ago talking with a new MS friend who was discouraged. I asked her if she had had the CCSVI treatment? That opened up other questions from another new friend who asked me this pointed question about CCSVI~ How much of your life do you have back after the treatment?

That really made me start thinking about my life, or lack of it, (as some think), these days. After I had the first CCSVI surgery on August 19, 2010, my husband and I were elated. I felt better and was able to do simple things that I hadn't been able to do it a long time, like lift my right leg and put it into the car. I had more energy than I had felt in literally years. Placebo? My neurologist thought so, but I'm still feeling some of the positive effects of the procedure and it's been over 2 years now. I tried pretty much all the DMD drugs and still say that having my veins cleaned out was the best thing I ever did for my MS, hands down.

Fast forward 2 years. So, do I have some of my life back? This summer has been especially hard because I've had to endure alot of orthopedic problems and that has hit me hard. But I'm almost through them, and after my knee is done next week, I should be good to go after some PT.

But your life is always comparable to others, right? I have a friend down the street who is a paraplegic. He's hasn't gotten out of bed for almost 30 years. He gets up now and then and is able to get out, strapped into his chair, when he's up to it, but basically his life is laying in that bed, yet he's made a life for himself and has the most positive attitude I think I've seen. Life is what you make it, right?

As for me, I still can't drive, because of lack of feeling in my legs and hands. That means I'm a prisoner in my house most of the time. Sure, I get out now and then, I have friends that will come and collect me and take me places and my husband is always there taking me out to dinner, to the doctor, to church.

But I'm not able to just pick up like I used to do and get in the car and go anywhere I want to. There's no doubt about the fact that I miss those days. But you do get used to your "new normals" as I've heard it called. I'm definitely in the new normal stage of my life right now. I've learned why seniors try so hard to hang on to their drivers licenses when they get older. A car means independence, at least in this society we live in.

"Having my life back" to me would mean being like I was when I was still working 12 years ago, still active, working 40 hours or more a week, taking the stairs two at a time, going for walks during the lunch break, able to handle a full load at work and home, plus all the duties of a wife and mother of young sons. Still able to travel for work and leisure when needed with no problem. But, 12 years later, even without MS would I still be able to do most of those things? Probably, and if not all, most likely some?

Who knows, and does it even matter at this point? I've accepted my new life, and things are moving along, more slowly now, but they are moving.

The invention of social media like Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, and Pinterest have made a huge difference in the life of those who are homebound. I spend much of my posting, researching and spreading the news about issues that are important to me. I read, I write my blog, I "putse" around the house, I love to take pictures and organize them, I help out folding laundry, or doing the dishes, or whatever I can, I listen to music, I swim at least once, sometimes twice a day, I also use my Wii for exercise, I play with my two doggies and take Mollie for walks in my chair, I keep up with friends on the phone and I watch TV, mostly at night with my hubby.


                                                               Me with doggies Mollie and Buck this morning~

I am still living with secondary progressive MS and CCSVI. I have aches and pains everyday, all day. I have numbness all day, but I decide NOT to spend my time focusing on the bad. In looking around at how my life "used" to be compared to how it is now I realized that if I sat and thought about it I would definitely be depressed each day and not even want to get out of bed. But, that's not how I look at life. I look at the good in life. I am grateful each day when God opens my eyes. I realize I am here for a reason. I acknowledge that my life belong to Him, not to me, and I am here for His pleasure.

" For we are God’s handiwork, 
created in Christ Jesus to do good works, 
which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Ephesians 2: 10

When I acknowledged that fact, which I did many years ago, life takes on a whole new meaning and purpose. My days are spent trying to bring Glory to Him, through my words and actions. I wake up joyful and thankful for all He gives me. I take each new day with a mind to teach others about His truth and love. Whether it be helping others in love by teaching other MS patients learn how to improve their lives through CCSVI, or tweeting verses to encourage others, posting a picture with inspirational words, or spreading the word about my convictions about this election and voting for the candidate that most closely lines up with biblical values. To me, these are all things that help others and glorify Him.

I try vigilantly each day to speak His truth to the a hurting world. They are so many people confused, desperate and hurting; you never know how a word of encouragement may change that day for them. Many don't have the reassurance that I feel each day, they don't have that peace, and they can only get it from one place: Jesus Christ. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7.

                                                                         Prince of Peace© Greg Olsen 

I want my friends, my cyber friends and in person friends to see Jesus in me.I want them to see the peace that I have because of Him. I remember years ago when I went to see a neuro psychologist as part of an mental evaluation ordered by my neurologist, she said to me" You have this glow about you, this peace and calmness, it's quite evident. Are you a Christian?" I said as a matter of fact I am. Enough said. She knew where the peace came from because she knew Jesus too.

                                           It's true, if you profess to be a Christian. Some people will never enter
                                                      a church, they may only see Jesus' love by watching you!

So I ask you, do you have that peace in your life? Can you say that no matter what happens to you, you'll be at peace with the way things turn out. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, and can certainly be a tall order, especially in your own strength, but if you trust in the Lord, it's totally doable. He can give you that inner peace that only comes from Him. It will never come from anything that the world provides. You can chase your dreams and even fulfill them, but if you don't have Jesus, you will still have a longing that can't be satisfied by anything on earth. Turn to Him and He will show you what life is really about!

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Dearest Lord:

Thank you for my life. Thank you for the privilege of waking up each morning to serve you. Help me to treat others as you would have me and for my motives always to be to bring glory to you in everything I do. Thank you for the many blessings you give me and my family each day. Help me Lord to be able to reach out to others in Your Holy Name.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen




































































Saturday, October 13, 2012

Jesus, our comforter~~

If you are a fairly regular reader of my blog, you've probably been wondering where I've been for the past few months. I know I haven't written too often and I'm sorry about that, but there's a reason.

This whole year has been a tough one for me. It started out last December, losing my beloved Mom, then shortly followed up by my sweet Dad's passing only 2 months later. We closed up our home in the beautiful mountains of NC and put it up for sale, and starting and following through the summer, I've had orthopedic issues with my feet, back and now both knees. I'm heading in for arthroscopic knee surgery in a little over a week, hoping that will get me moving again.

Me and my multiple sclerosis have had a tough time dealing with the Florida heat probably because I'm just not used to it. This is the first summer I've spent the entire summer months down here, I'm used to spending a good deal of my summer months in the cool mountain air of NC. Physically it was tough to be in this heat, but emotionally it was wonderful because my husband and I re-connected after spending way too much time apart these past few years. Everything is a trade off, right?

I've also had some family challenges too. Add all that up and you can see that things have been a bit off kilter here at the Watts House for a while. When I take time to think back on what I've been through and my family has been through this year, it's no wonder I'm worn out.

But here's the thing: we all go through tough times! Every one of us faces challenges in our lives, it how we bare under the weight of those challenges that will make the difference in our lives. I'm sure we've all felt like we've carried the weight of the world on our shoulders from one time or another.



I have to admit, I've had real times of depression these past months, which isn't like me. It seems like when you roll from one crisis to another it can really take the wind out of your sails. I've found it's hard to regroup when you are done with one thing, and right behind it, there is another issue ready to take over and stay there for a long period of time. I've learned from my years of living with MS and the challenges of dealing with the ups and downs of a chronic disease, that the only place I can ever find solace is in the arms of the great comforter, Jesus, my savior. Matthew 11:28-30 says "“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

                                                  There is peace and comfort in the loving arms of Jesus Christ. 

What a wonderful promise that is from God's Holy Word. Oh, why do we not look to Him first when things go awry in our lives? Why do we think we can ever handle our troubles in our own strength? We simply are not equipped to do it. That is NOT the way God made us. He wants us to draw close to Him. He's waiting with open arms to comfort us in our times of need. But, how many of us turn away and run to other things to help us deal with the crisis' in our life: drugs, alcohol, food, TV, sports,  shopping, and all kinds of other idolatry. We will do anything but go to the one who can and will help us! Why are we so stubborn? It's our human condition I guess..... it's called sin. We foolishly think we have a better idea, we have a better way and we've got it all figured out. WRONG! 

I'm just as stubborn as you are, I've just learned from years of experience that He is the only answer to any of my problems. Simple as that. Trials are just a part of life. We all have them and we ALL go through them. James 1:2-4 tells us about suffering: "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

It's hard to think of trials as perfecting your faith, but that is exactly what they do if you will learn from them and grow in your faith from them. Your faith will grow through your suffering, and you can shine for Jesus and bring Him glory through your suffering. How do you do that? By taking the trial and leaning on God through prayer and reading His word during that time. Spend time with your Creator, seek His Face and He will lighten your load. Look for your answers not from yourself, but from the one who can really help. 1 Peter 1:7 says "These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

The Comforter © Greg Olsen ~~
 I've felt like this young lady many times this year because I have been confined to bed because of
physical problems, yet I knew that Jesus was right there with me. He truly is the comforter for us all!

As you get through the trial through your complete devotion to God, praise Him and share with others how He delivered you from your pain and suffering. It's a win~win situation for both of you.Why not give it a try? You get the comfort, He gets the Glory! He will never let you down. He will always be by your side, no matter what. Jesus is the friend that never goes away. Your friends, your spouse, your parents, your children. even your grandchildren ~~ they will all let you down at one time or another because they are human beings, but the Creator of the Universe promises to never leave your side, EVER. Deuteronomy 3l: 8 tells us "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Believe that and your comfort will come full circle in the loving arms of Jesus Christ. 

My verses for today are above in red.

My prayer for today:

Dearest Heavenly Father:

We don't know the ways of Providence. We don't know why we go through the trials of life or what purpose they serve for us, but you do. Help us Lord, to always turn to you when we face difficulties in our lives. Help us to seek your face and not to lean on our own understanding because we don't know what's best for us, YOU DO!
Forgive me Lord for times this past year when I haven't turned to you, when I've tried to figure it out on my own. Thank you that I can come to you in all circumstances and for all things. Thank you for your unending love.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen





Friday, September 21, 2012

Time marches on~

A few weeks ago, my nephew Matt and his wife Abby welcomed their second son, Asher Lincoln Beagle, into the world. As I was gazing at the beautiful pictures being sent through the internet, I was thinking about the circle of life and the change of generations and how quickly our existence goes by.

Seems like my husband and I were just welcoming our second son into the world, but that was over 23 years ago now, and now it's my nephew whose adding to our family. This will be the 4th grandchild for my older brother Mike and his wife Linda. Wow - are they blessed!

                              Asher Lincoln Beagle - born 9/2/12, 6 lb. 14 oz. 19 3/4" long


                                      Here's the 3 other great grandchildren of the next generation
                                                      left to right - Ava, Blake and Mason

This is going to be the first great grandchild my parents won't be able to meet, cause Mom and Dad have both gone home to heaven now. The torch has officially been passed to the next generation of Beagles. There's a hole in my heart, knowing that Mom and Dad won't get to meet little Asher, but they were very blessed to have met their 3 other great grandchildren and spend time with them. They both loved to snuggle up and cuddle them, love them and brag on them, like any grandparent does. But I guess when you're holding your great grandchild, it must be especially poignant and it was for them also.

                           My Dad with Blake when he was little, he just adored that little guy


Great -Grandma Sue with Blake

                                  Grandma and Grandpa Beagle with granddaughter Stephanie

                                              Christmas 2007 in Tennessee with the family

Life goes on. The next generation is being born and will pass on the traditions and lore of our family. My Dad had so many wonderful sayings and "isms" that only Pop would say. My brother Mike has written down alot of the sayings my Dad coined and has passed those on to his son Matt, in the hopes of keeping my Dad alive in the memories of his kids, grand kids and great grandchildren. It's a great idea, but we know that nobody could say those things like my Dad. We will always remember the fun way that he would deliver them. He would say them and then get this little grin on his face and chuckle until you said something. I can still see him now. I miss my Daddy every day.

My sweet Mom and her penchant for jewelry, clothes and fingernails has skipped a generation I think, but will continue on with me (just a little bit) and my niece Stephanie. To my Mom's lifelong frustration, I was always more of a tomboy when I was growing up and even into adulthood. I remember clearly when my husband had my diamond ring re mounted for our 15th anniversary into an updated gorgeous setting. I wore it for the first time down to my folks house in my casual jeans and a top and I thought my Mom was gonna pass out. "Nicki, you do not wear a diamond like that with a pair of blue jeans!" she told me. I said "Ma, this is what I wear on the weekends, I look fine, it's ok." She never understood, but that was my Mama. She was always striving to be the belle of the ball, and most of the time, she achieved her mission.

My Mom got a big kick out of little Stephanie, her only granddaughter, when she was growing up because she was definitely a "little Sue," - she was always into my Mom's jewelry and makeup to my Mom's delight. When Mom and Dad moved to Tennessee to be near their youngest grandchildren, that was a great decision for them and for my youngest brother Rob and his wife and kids. Being there, living right next door to them and having the interaction with that young family while they were growing up was such a blessing for Mom and Dad. Little Michael, his youngest grandchild was always hanging out with Papa, my Dad. The kids could just take the sidewalk right over to their house and would usually come their first thing in the morning, often in their pajamas. After my Mom passed away in December 2011, Michael went over and spent the night with Papa to keep him company. I thought that was so sweet and a testament to their great relationship.

Though Mom and Dad are now gone, their legacy now lives on in each of us; our children, grandchildren and even their great grandchildren. You'll see it in the way we think, our values, our smiles, a certain smirk, a laugh, a posture or way someone holds turns their head just the same way that Grandma or Grandpa used to do. "Time marches on" as my Dad used to say. The generations change and shift, the older generation leaves us and the new one emerges. But in everything, the Beagle legacy will live on and all of us will make sure of that, I know for sure.

For me, I pledge to make sure that my Dad tremendous faith in God lives on in me. That was the most endearing thing about my relationship with my Dad, I will always remember him for his love of the Lord. I love Jesus with all my heart. He is my everything, every day, all day. I got that from my Dad. He planted that seed of faith in me years ago, and watched as it blossomed and grew into a my deep relationship with the Lord.

For Mom, her legacy was her sweet smile and generally great attitude about life. That helps me get through the increasingly difficult days in my own life. She never complained about being in a nursing home but I know she had a miserable existence those last few years. I cried when I went in there and saw how she had to spend those days. She was blessed to have my brothers so close and they rest of the family. Everyone visited her alot, but she was still in there by herself. When Dad was still up and able, he went in there to see her every single day, God rest his soul.

Mom had a stiff upper lip and rarely complained, although I know that in the later days of her life she was in pain most days. She was still always glad to hear from you or see you. She was a sweetheart in so many ways. You can never go back in life, but I sure wish I had more time with my Mom. Isn't that the way it always is? Time marches on as Dad always said. We can't go back, we can only go forward.

I'm so thankful that God Bless me with such wonderful parents. I've been reading through some of the items left by my parents and found that my Grandmother Ada, who died when I was 14 was a very spiritual lady, which I knew little about. I have her Bible with her notes in it and found that many of the same Bible verses that I love so much were also her favorites. It made me think about the wonderful verse from Psalm 100:5 "For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.' 

Indeed the Lord has been good to our family and I pray that as time continues to march on that He will continue to shower His blessings on all of this next Beagle family generation and their descendents for years to come. What will the legacies of this new generation of Beagle men and women be? That is something that only the good Lord knows, but I pray that His mighty Hand will guide them all on their way and that they will have the good sense to lean on Him throughout their lives. As long as they have the Creator of the Universe on their side, they can't go wrong!

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Lord, thank you for my parents. Thank you for their legacy and the many lessons they instilled in us over the years. I pray for this new generation of young Beagle men and women that are growing up. I pray you will bless them, watch over them, give them wisdom, strength and courage to face this increasingly difficult word we live in. Be by their side each and every day.


I pray this in Jesus Name,
Amen