Getting ready for CCSVI, round 2 - prayers needed!

So, it's a rainy Saturday afternoon/evening. Great time to write in my blog, don't you think? I just got up from laying down on my icepack for a headache. I lived on those ice packs to control my MS head pain for 13 years. They were the only thing that got me through the excruciating pain that felt like my head was in a vice all day long.

When I had my original CCSVI procedure last August, one of the first improvements was my head pain miraculously went away. I mean miracle time, it didn't lessen friends---it was GONE. That in itself was a profound miracle, and anyone who knows me can attest to that because my head pain put me down for the count, many, many times. But I also had other improvements from the first procedure. My extreme fatigue that so totally crippled me, was now also absent. I would have taken just those two improvements, but there were more. My right leg, which I hadn't been able to lift in about 3 years was now mobile again, and I also saw huge improvements in my cognitive function.

In many ways, I was reborn after my first angioplasty surgery! I felt so good, and was so energized, much more so than I had been in years, that I initiated and took on the task of working in tandem with the CCSVI Alliance in a big educational and Inaugural Walk-n-Roll weekend in Tampa, March 4th and 5th.

It was a monumental assignment, but I dug in my heals, and along with Michelle Brown of the Alliance, we pulled together a phenomenal event educational seminar and auction at Moffitt Cancer Center and Inaugural Walk-n-Roll at beautiful Lettuce Lake Park. The weekend was a smashing success. We had many MS patients who attended. They were intrigued and captivated by the CCSVI patients who spoke along with the 4 doctors, 2 IRs and 2 neurologists, who came to educate and share their knowledge of what CCSVI in MS means. It was a wonderful 2 days of everything CCSVI, and many people learned and were excited about telling others about what CCSVI can do to help others with MS. Mission Accomplished. Whew-----Relax Nicki.

It's been over 2 months since our event. Now, in hindsight, I admit that I probably should have taken those 5 months I poured myself (days and many nights) into organizing for others to learn about the benefits of this simple procedure and instead dedicated myself entirely to helping myself. But that's just me. That's just the way I am.

When I feel good, I like to do things for other people, that's just how God made me. And I felt SO GOOD after that August 19th surgery, I wanted to help the world learn about CCSVI and I was determined to do it. So I threw myself into making that weekend the absolute best that it could be, and I'm proud and happy to say that it was.

(I did devote myself to 3 months of physical therapy, after my first surgery, and it did help me tremendously, but admittedly I slacked off of it, after the holidays and as we rolled into the final phases of planning and pulling our event together, I was just too busy to work on "me." Not a good idea Nick - oh well what was I gonna do - I had commitments.)
 
Fast forward 9 months one day to May 20th, 2011. After conferring with Dr. Arslan over this past month about my growing list of symptoms that seem to have re-appeared, we have decided to go in for round 2 and I am ready. My headaches have returned, quite annoyingly. One thing I haven't had return is my fatigue - I am still going pretty strong, so that is a real blessing. My cognitive function could use alittle help of late and my walking is a bit off, although I can still lift my right leg so that is good. Just a little tune-up, that's what I need!

I've had 2 dopplar ultrasounds of my jugular veins in these past 9 months and they have shown the blood is still flowing correctly, but until Dr. A. gets in there and looks around he really won't know what's going on. So onward we go into the CCSVI frontier.

A few people have been surprised that I have to have this done again, thinking it was a one time procedure. Unfortunately, that is not the case. A few others are surprised that I am proceeding in without a battery of tests. The tests are just diagnostic and don't show much anyway. They aren't really necessary, especially if you've had it done before. I've had all the tests. I know I have CCSVI, now, let's go fix it!


I totally trust God Almighty and my talented and compassionate interventional radiologist, Dr. Arslan. They both know what they are doing and I couldn't be in better hands.


So, this coming Friday at 1 pm, if you get a minute, just please say a little prayer for me. Please pray for God's blessings on my surgery and for me to have the dramatic improvements I had the first time and even more so. That's what I'm praying for. I'm claiming another miracle, and I know that God will give me whatever He deems appropriate, just like last time.

Just like in Jesus time, the Lord is still performing miracles everyday, and I am wanting to claim miracle #2!

My verse is about Jesus healing in Matthew 4:23

"Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the Kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people."

My prayer for today:

Dearest Heavenly Father, Almighty God:

It's me again, coming to seek your blessings and healing upon me, one more time. Please guide Dr. Arslan through my surgery and help him to see what he needs to see, and fix what he needs to fix. Give him your wisdom. Watch over my nurses and techs and help them to be the best they can be.

Watch over my husband, as once again, he sees me through another health challenge. Give me the strength and stamina to use this procedure and re-energize my focus and my energy on getting well.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen and Amen

                                           Dr. Arslan and me, October 5th, 2010.

Live like you're dying, because you are...

There is a great song by Tim McGraw called "Live like you're dying." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiOcW_YR1G8

I was reminded about it because it was posted last night by a facebook MS friend of mine, Renee McFerrin Brooks. And I thought, do I live like that? I want to.

Then I thought about the fragility of life. These past few weeks, when all the remembrances of 9/11 came up through Bin Laden's death, I started thinking about the almost 3,000 innocent Americans who woke up one morning, not knowing that it was their last day on earth.

We're all just a heartbeat away from eternity, as my dear friend Ron Watts likes to say. None of us knows if our current breath will be our last. So, in the light of that, I began to think about the choices I make each day about how to live my brief time here on planet Earth!

Do I feel cursed because I have to live with MS, or do I feel blessed? Do I wake up each day with a smile or a growl?  I had the CCSVI procedure back in August and my MS symptoms were vastly improved by it. But, I still have MS and have to deal with all the ramifications that living with a chronic progressive disease implies. It's not going away. The damage from years of MS flare-ups, full blown attacks and all the numerous drugs have taken their toll. True, I do feel better, but I still have to deal with MS every minute of every day and lately some of the symptoms are coming back, so now, what do I do?What if I go back to the way I was before I had my CCSVI procedure. Can I be happy again having to live life like that again?

I wouldn't be honest if I said there weren't days when I didn't want to get up. Days when I haven't slept well because of pain, or things that were weighing heavily on my mind. But we all have those days, right? We just do it, we open our eyes and go. Some of the things that help me, are to say to God each day, "Thank you for opening my eyes up this morning, Lord. Help me to live this day for you. Help me to help others."

By and large, I've always been a pretty positive girl and I think my friends and family would concur with that.
I always try to look at the good in every situation and in every person, and overlook the bad. We are all on this journey together and we are all in different stages of growth and maturity. Where you are may not be where your husband is, or your parents are, or your kids, or your friends. But isn't that what's great about life? We all are right where God wants us to be and he wants us to help each other along the way.

For me, I think that my Creator wants me to live each day he gives with a thankful heart, so that is what I always strive to do. He wants me to be thankful for the many blessings that he has given me, in spite of my MS. Is it easy to live like that? Heck no it isn't, but it's the choice I make each day to try and encourage and help others along their way.  I try to pull myself out of my problems and think of others and their concerns.

It is my contention that God allows situations to happen to us, through us and around us for our spiritual growth. I also believe he wants people to see him, through us, but we have to slow down long enough to listen to him and let him lead us in and through those circumstances.

I've heard this statement at numerous bible studies over the years, "we are the hands and feet of Jesus Christ on this earth and that we may be the only " Jesus" that some people will ever know."

That is really a very powerful statement and quite something to try and live up to, don't you think? Trying to be like Jesus through our actions and words, is not an easy task by any means, especially for me. I'm a sinner and I'm human and I will never be anything like him, but still, that is what I try to do each day. I try to emulate the good in Jesus. I try to live like my next breath may drawn standing in front of God Almighty, because I don't know when that will be-- none of us do.

I want to be helpful, encouraging, appreciative, thankful and hopeful in the worse of conditions. I want to be the calm one in the middle of the storms of life. I want my friends and family to reach out to me in their times of need. I don't ever want to be judgmental of them or the messes they may have gotten themselves into because Jesus never was. Remember a few years ago when those popular bracelets were on a lot of people's wrists - WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do) Well, that how I try to live! I want people I know to look at me and say, "there's something different about her, what is it?" She tries to do what Jesus would have done!

I want to live my life with no regrets, and live each day as it if were my last, because you never know....it may be. 

My verse for today is from Ephesians 5:19-20

"Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

My prayer for today:

Dearest Heavenly Father:

Help me to be more like Jesus. Help me to try not be judgmental of others and their circumstances. Help me to reach out in love to others in Jesus name in every situation. Help me to live each day like it was my last, bringing glory to you along the way. Thank you for all my many blessings and please Lord, forgive me for all my sins.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

The blessing of a loving Mom....

It's hard to believe that Mother's Day is already tomorrow! It's true what they say about the years going by faster as you get older, cause it's hard to believe it's already been a year since we celebrated mothers everywhere, but yet, here we are, almost at the first Sunday in May again!

I'm so thankful that my Mom is now out of the hospital, feeling better and back at the nursing home with Dad.  This is a very difficult time in life for all of us, as my folks have transitioned from their own home to a nursing home, but I have to say that my Mom has handled it with a tremendous amount of dignity and grace, which really doesn't surprise me at all.

You see, my Mom has always been the strong one in our family, emotionally speaking. She's tough and always has been for as long as I can remember. For my entire childhood, my Mom was a stay at home mother, but she also answered the phone for my Dad's heating and plumbing business (the business phone rang into our house from 8am - 5 pm - that's the kind of thing they did in those days), making all the appointments and she also handled all the billing and correspondence. Plus she kept up with us three kids, handled all the cooking, cleaning and laundry. She always had a smile on her face, and enjoyed the simple things in life. She never left home much, except on the weekends to go to the grocery store, but she always seemed to be contented with her life because growing up on a farm, I think she was really a homebody at heart.

She's lived her life for her family and was always there for us when we were growing up. Us three kids were 6 years apart, so for my Mom, I'm sure it must have seemed like she would never get rid of us. We weren't rich by any means, but were always comfortable. My Dad worked very hard and Mom held down the fort at home. She made most of my clothes when I was in my grade school years and I remember well when I got to go buy my first store bought blouse. I think I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade, and boy was that a thrill to go to the store with Mom to buy something a beautiful as that! I was also allowed to get some saddle shoes too, which were my favorite. I felt like a princess. I thought homemade clothes were so "out " because most of my friends had store bought ones, but looking back on it, it was a nice thing for Mom and I to do because we went together and picked out the patterns and the fabric for my outfits. I can't remember Mom getting a lot of fancy clothes for herself, she was always in capri pants and t-shirts, but she always made sure I had something nice to wear. She was always doing for me and my brothers and my Dad.

Mom sent me to a sewing class one summer, and I had to walk there by myself. It was about 2 miles down the hill at the Shirlington Shopping Center, in Alexandria, but I can remember feeling so grown up when I was allowed to go there by myself. Mom couldn't leave the house because of Dad's business, but she always made sure I tried new things. I did piano lessons for 5 years, I was allowed to ride my bike down to my grandparents duplex, which was in the other direction but also about 2 miles away.  In those early years, in the summer, I was all over the place on my bike, riding to friends houses, playing softball at my old elementary school with friends. It was a wonderful time of freedom. I was also all over the place on my roller skates, because I loved to skate. I didn't go to a skating rink, but just loved skating up and down the streets, visiting with people. We didn't have a pool like my kids grew up with, but we still had a lot of fun in the summer, creating little plays with kids in the neighborhood, and then putting on skits for our parents to come and watch. Dad very seldom came because he was exhausted from working all day, but Mom was always there, cheering me on.

My Dad was pretty strict when we were growing up. I remember one time, really wanting to go to the movies, but Dad was not a big fan of the movies. He thought they were a waste of time. I didn't ask often because I knew how he felt about it, but I did ask this time. I really wanted to go see the latest Elvis Presley movie, but he really disliked him and everything he stood for (not uncommon for parents of the time) I was crushed. But, Mom, knowing how much it meant to me, set up a quiet date for me to go with my cousin Doreen and my Aunt Margaret. It was our big secret, and to this day I don't know if my Dad knows I was corrupted by seeing "Kissing Cousins" starring Elvis Presley. I had such a good time that day.

My parents weren't very social and they rarely had their friends over and we didn't have a lot of our friends over either. It's not that they weren't welcome, we just didn't do a lot of socializing at our house There were no playgroups or Mom groups or anything like that back in those days. I can remember going to other people's slumber parties and such, and  I do remember a big 6 year old birthday party I had, but can't remember a lot of other parties, although I'm sure we must have had a few. My Dad only has one eye, and always felt uncomfortable in social situations, but even though there was not a lot of outside contact other than other family events, school and school activities, I still always felt very loved by my Mom and Dad.

We never went to formal church. My Mom did take me to Sunday school when I was a little kid and I was baptized because I have the certificate, but we had our church at home on Sundays and then bible studies during the week. Our Bible study times were always led by my Dad, and Mom was always quiet, but I always knew she loved the Lord too. The seed of faith and my love for Jesus was planted early in my life, by both Mom and Dad.

As the years go by, and I continue to grow and mature and have parental challenges of my own, the more I've realized that my parents weren't perfect, only human, and they were always trying to do what they thought was the best thing for me. I may not have always agreed with their decisions, but I knew that they loved me, and that is the most precious gift a parent can give their child. There is no one in the world that loves you like your parents, because they love you just like our Heavenly Father loves all of us --unconditionally.

You will make many friends throughout your life, but there is no one like your family, especially your parents.  Their heart breaks when your heart breaks. Love them while you have them, because you never know what the next day will bring. If you are a parent yourself, you know exactly what I'm talking about, if not, then I pray that the Lord will bless you with children of you own someday so you can experience the many highs and lows of parenthood. It truly is the blessing of a lifetime.

So thanks Mom, for everything. Thanks for always being there, through good and bad, thick and thin. Thanks for putting up with all the stupid mistakes I've made along the way, and thanks for always reaching out to me even when I didn't deserve it. You were and are the absolute best! And, thank you Lord, for a devoted, Godly mother. I know she is a gift from Heaven above~~

My verse for today is from  Proverbs 31: 2

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her."

My prayer for today:

Thank you Jesus for my mother. Thank you for her dedication to our family over the years. Please watch over her each day and give her comfort. What a blessing she has been in my life and I am thankful. Help me to be the kind of Mom to own my kids that she has always been to me.

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

                                              Mom in the 1940's at home in Floyd, Va.

                                                       Dad, Mom and me, 1956

                                                        

                                 ~~ Mom's 80th Birthday with brothers Mike and Robert, me, Dad and Mom ~~