Saturday, May 23, 2015

God, are you there? It sure is hard to see you right now!

I've hesitated blogging about this, but my church has been so much a part of me, I really feel I needed to share.

Our local church home has been a big part of our families life for almost 30 years. I stepped in the doors of that church when our oldest son was only 3 years old. I took him to Sunday School there on the recommendation of a friend from our apartment complex. She was teaching Sunday School there and her kids also attended. Turns out our son ended up marrying her daughter all these years later, but that's another story.

We joined the church, my husband found Jesus there, and both our boys were baptized there. Our kids were raised in that church, and learned to know Jesus there. We renewed our wedding vows there 15 years ago.  We spent many happy hours working around the church, on our Christmas tree lot each year, in the kitchen at pancake breakfasts, in prayer and bible study groups, teaching Sunday School myself and being involved in the other many ministries of the church. Recently, our precious granddaughter was baptized in the same church where her parents were committed to God many years ago. So, what has happened?

Our beloved church has actually closed its doors after being in service for over 55 years. 55 years of serving the Lord. 55 years of serving the community and reaching out to others in the name of Jesus. It closed, not because there weren't faithful congregants, some of us had been there 10, 20, and 30 plus years. It closed because of mismanagement by those who should have been held accountable.

Deception is a terrible thing. It's especially hard when you can't trust those who proclaim the name of the Lord. Help us Lord to have discerning hearts that are focused only on you; that has been my prayer throughout all this confusion. Lord, show us your truth in all this.

I have to admit that many times it has been really hard to see God is all this mess, but I know he's there, none the less. I'm not sure what His plans for our church are, but I know His plans will prevail. There has been some talk from the district about a church adoption next year. I don't know if I trust that is going to happen at all, but that could be my disappointment seething through.

One thing I know for sure. God is in charge of what going to happen next. My job is to trust and obey. Trust that He knows what He's doing and it's all part of His perfect plan. Proverbs 19:21 reminds us  "Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails."


There has been a lot of hurt for a lot of God's people through all this, but I know that the Lord can heal those wounds and bring new life into that church if it is His will and if we all are willing to forgive and move on.

As I was working on this piece, my dear sweet husband shared with me a devotional that he received via email this morning. As you can imagine, we have both been struggling with the hurt and confusion that has occurred over the past months. It was not a coincidence that these were the words placed before us. I know that for sure, it was definitely a God -Thing.

The devotional was about forgiveness and hate and the ramifications of those awful actions. It was about many believers inability to forgive those who hurt them the most - especially when the treatment was undeserved. It said it is impossible to share Christ with hatred in your heart. God calls us to turn over everything to him, including all the hurt and bitterness and start fresh with a new heart. He forgives us, who are we not to forgive others?  

Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." 





I felt like Jesus was talking directly to me. "Let it go and move on" were the words I heard over and over again, loud and clear. ENOUGH!

I know that the Lord can take anything that is broken and restore it to new beauty if that is his will. He is a God of restoration and he is a God of new beginnings. Another favorite verse comes to mind about God turning ashes into beauty. 

Isaiah 61:3 
"to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes."




I am resting on His promises to restore what is His. After all, it's not my church, it's His church.  I am resting on his promises to turn something ugly and broken into something beautiful. I know he can do anything he wants at anytime, and therein lies my hope and the hope for all mankind. Lord Jesus, Show Me Your Glory!


My verses for today are above in red

My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father,

This has been such a hard thing for me and for my family and so many other families in our church. Please Lord, heal up the wounds, bring new life into our church, give us a new purpose in serving you. Help us to forgive those who have hurt us so we can shine again for you! You forgave us Father, help us to forgive others as you have commanded. Help us to confess our sins and turn to you in anticipation in what you are going to do!!




















Amen

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Trusting and Believing ~~~

On April 2 of this year I received a notification from my insurance carrier, Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Florida that my insurance had been cancelled after 15 years.

I had picked up a conversion policy after I left work on disability in 2000 and have remained on that insurance, faithfully paying my premiums without fault. This very comprehensive policy was quite wonderful with outstanding pharmacy coverage. Believe it or not, I was only paying $7.00 for my prescriptions, including my Copaxone, my MS disease modifying drug, (DMD) that costs over $5,000 a month.Talk about a God-Thing!

Woah! I have to admit that I was in a complete PANIC about losing my insurance! I got on the phone immediately with Blue Cross and was told that my policy was dropped because it wasn't in alliance with the new qualifications of the "Affordable Care Act."

Are you kidding me? What about all that "talk our President gave us ..."If you like your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance.?" After calming down and lots of prayer and research into new insurance, I learned after a few weeks that if I wanted to keep my Copaxone, it was going to cost me around $8,000 a year. What to do? I really wasn't up for us paying $8,000 a year out of our own pocket for a drug that I wasn't even sure was doing anything for me in the first place. I began to really pray about what direction God wanted me to go.


Recently, there has been more and more in the news, on the internet and in social media about the MS drugs DMD's not doing what they are purported to do in the first place. http://www.newsmax.com/Health/Health-News/top-multiple-sclerosis-drugs-don-t-work-MS-progression-of-disease-interferon/2012/07/18/id/483274/#

http://ccsviinms.blogspot.com/2015/05/blood-flow-matters.html

Since my CCSVI procedure in August 2010, and seeing the tremendous improvement I had once my jugular veins were opened up and my blood was flowing properly to and from my brain, I just wasn't convinced that the DMDs I was taking were worth it. I had been on two of them after a bad MS attack in 2009. Avonex and Copaxone, a double therapy prescribed by my Sarasota neurologist. I dropped the Avonex after my CCSVI procedure and just hung on to the Copaxone, not sure why.  I always had really bad reactions to the Avonex, it made me sick as a dog for 36 hours each week. That was a natural and easy to drop, no problem. I have been thinking about dropping the Copaxone for a while, and thought, well, as long as it's only costing me $7.00 a  month, I guess I don't have anything to lose. And, I knew it made my husband happy, it was like a stop-gap.  I wasn't getting any bad reactions, and it didn't cost anything, so why not, right?

Well, when the rug was pulled out from underneath me, I had to re-think everything. I cried out to the Lord--Are you trying to tell me something Lord? What is the answer you want me to hear? The answer was made very clear to me......TRUST ME, I'M IN CHARGE OF YOU!! Give the drug up! And so, that is exactly what I've decided to do. I'm going ALL IN with Jesus!

I am believing God to take care of me from this day forward. I am trusting in His will and His providential care. I have alot of MS virtual friends and some real live ones too. Some of them take the MS drugs, some of them don't. Everybody has a different opinion on what direction to take. I listened to them all and surely appreciated the many prayers that my friends and family continue to lift up on my behalf. But my God has the Real True Answer for me. TRUST HIM!

One thing is for sure. They are no guarantees in this life, for any of us, sick or not. None of us know what we are going to face when we wake up in the morning. But God does. He is the one with the plan for each of us. Our job, as I see it, is to trust and obey. Trust Him with everything and so I am.

One of my favorite verses is from Proverbs 3:5-6 

  " Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."



My verse for today is above in red. My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father:

I am trusting you with everything. You are the one in charge of me, not the doctors, not the medicine. Heal me Lord, use me to testify to Your Glory throughout this journey I am on. Give me the strength to reach out of others that may be suffering or hurt. Help me to reach out to all of them in Your precious name.

Amen


Monday, April 20, 2015

Answering the call of God...

Have you ever felt like God is tapping you on the shoulder? Is he trying to get through to you, but you just don't want to listen or are having a hard time discerning His voice? Sometimes, I've found that the Lord can be very subtle or He can also be very blunt and bring you to your knees if He needs to,....your choice.

But, I think you have to be in tune to Him to hear what he's trying to say to you. So, how do you do that?

Picking up your bible would be a good first step. Get back into His Word. It's great to go to church and worship with fellow Christians, but just attending church on Sunday and listening to a 1 hour sermon often doesn't fulfill your needs if you are seeking a closer relationship with the Lord. I think you really have to delve into His Word through Bible Study either in church or a small group where you can learn and share what you've learned with like minded seekers.

If you feel that that still small voice is trying to get in touch with you....don't resist. Don't be afraid, God is just trying to pull you back unto himself. Sometimes He has to hit you over the head with a sledgehammer to get your attention. Don't wait until then! When you feel Him calling, answer on the first ring! You will never regret that decision.

The blessings that will come from a closer walk with Jesus are always significant and often life changing. God's peace will fall on you like a soft warm blanket. The little things that used to drive you crazy seem to fall away because your focus is on Him and His Word and not on what's happening in this world. The peace of God will surround you just like it says in Philippians 4:7 " And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." 



If you listen to the daily newscasts, you can easily be overwhelmed and think that the world is falling apart. It is from a human point of view. But, as Christians, we know that God is in control of everything and everyone. His purposes will always be triumphant. That is the thing to keep in mind when you begin to get stressed out by the way things are going. God will win and we will win with him as his followers. Remember Romans 8:28 " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose."

If you feel God knocking on the door of your heart, open it! What have you got to lose?

My verses for today are above in red

My prayer for today:

Lord Jesus,

Be with me Lord. Help me to discern your still small voice when it is calling. Help me to reach out to others so they can hear it too. Teach me Lord and use me to spread your Word to others. Here I am Lord, use me!

In Jesus Name,
Amen