Thursday, October 18, 2012

Each new day is a gift~

I was online a few days ago talking with a new MS friend who was discouraged. I asked her if she had had the CCSVI treatment? That opened up other questions from another new friend who asked me this pointed question about CCSVI~ How much of your life do you have back after the treatment?

That really made me start thinking about my life, or lack of it, (as some think), these days. After I had the first CCSVI surgery on August 19, 2010, my husband and I were elated. I felt better and was able to do simple things that I hadn't been able to do it a long time, like lift my right leg and put it into the car. I had more energy than I had felt in literally years. Placebo? My neurologist thought so, but I'm still feeling some of the positive effects of the procedure and it's been over 2 years now. I tried pretty much all the DMD drugs and still say that having my veins cleaned out was the best thing I ever did for my MS, hands down.

Fast forward 2 years. So, do I have some of my life back? This summer has been especially hard because I've had to endure alot of orthopedic problems and that has hit me hard. But I'm almost through them, and after my knee is done next week, I should be good to go after some PT.

But your life is always comparable to others, right? I have a friend down the street who is a paraplegic. He's hasn't gotten out of bed for almost 30 years. He gets up now and then and is able to get out, strapped into his chair, when he's up to it, but basically his life is laying in that bed, yet he's made a life for himself and has the most positive attitude I think I've seen. Life is what you make it, right?

As for me, I still can't drive, because of lack of feeling in my legs and hands. That means I'm a prisoner in my house most of the time. Sure, I get out now and then, I have friends that will come and collect me and take me places and my husband is always there taking me out to dinner, to the doctor, to church.

But I'm not able to just pick up like I used to do and get in the car and go anywhere I want to. There's no doubt about the fact that I miss those days. But you do get used to your "new normals" as I've heard it called. I'm definitely in the new normal stage of my life right now. I've learned why seniors try so hard to hang on to their drivers licenses when they get older. A car means independence, at least in this society we live in.

"Having my life back" to me would mean being like I was when I was still working 12 years ago, still active, working 40 hours or more a week, taking the stairs two at a time, going for walks during the lunch break, able to handle a full load at work and home, plus all the duties of a wife and mother of young sons. Still able to travel for work and leisure when needed with no problem. But, 12 years later, even without MS would I still be able to do most of those things? Probably, and if not all, most likely some?

Who knows, and does it even matter at this point? I've accepted my new life, and things are moving along, more slowly now, but they are moving.

The invention of social media like Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, and Pinterest have made a huge difference in the life of those who are homebound. I spend much of my posting, researching and spreading the news about issues that are important to me. I read, I write my blog, I "putse" around the house, I love to take pictures and organize them, I help out folding laundry, or doing the dishes, or whatever I can, I listen to music, I swim at least once, sometimes twice a day, I also use my Wii for exercise, I play with my two doggies and take Mollie for walks in my chair, I keep up with friends on the phone and I watch TV, mostly at night with my hubby.

                                                               Me with doggies Mollie and Buck this morning~

I am still living with secondary progressive MS and CCSVI. I have aches and pains everyday, all day. I have numbness all day, but I decide NOT to spend my time focusing on the bad. In looking around at how my life "used" to be compared to how it is now I realized that if I sat and thought about it I would definitely be depressed each day and not even want to get out of bed. But, that's not how I look at life. I look at the good in life. I am grateful each day when God opens my eyes. I realize I am here for a reason. I acknowledge that my life belong to Him, not to me, and I am here for His pleasure.

" For we are God’s handiwork, 
created in Christ Jesus to do good works, 
which God prepared in advance for us to do."
Ephesians 2: 10

When I acknowledged that fact, which I did many years ago, life takes on a whole new meaning and purpose. My days are spent trying to bring Glory to Him, through my words and actions. I wake up joyful and thankful for all He gives me. I take each new day with a mind to teach others about His truth and love. Whether it be helping others in love by teaching other MS patients learn how to improve their lives through CCSVI, or tweeting verses to encourage others, posting a picture with inspirational words, or spreading the word about my convictions about this election and voting for the candidate that most closely lines up with biblical values. To me, these are all things that help others and glorify Him.

I try vigilantly each day to speak His truth to the a hurting world. They are so many people confused, desperate and hurting; you never know how a word of encouragement may change that day for them. Many don't have the reassurance that I feel each day, they don't have that peace, and they can only get it from one place: Jesus Christ. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7.

                                                                         Prince of Peace© Greg Olsen 

I want my friends, my cyber friends and in person friends to see Jesus in me.I want them to see the peace that I have because of Him. I remember years ago when I went to see a neuro psychologist as part of an mental evaluation ordered by my neurologist, she said to me" You have this glow about you, this peace and calmness, it's quite evident. Are you a Christian?" I said as a matter of fact I am. Enough said. She knew where the peace came from because she knew Jesus too.

                                           It's true, if you profess to be a Christian. Some people will never enter
                                                      a church, they may only see Jesus' love by watching you!

So I ask you, do you have that peace in your life? Can you say that no matter what happens to you, you'll be at peace with the way things turn out. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, and can certainly be a tall order, especially in your own strength, but if you trust in the Lord, it's totally doable. He can give you that inner peace that only comes from Him. It will never come from anything that the world provides. You can chase your dreams and even fulfill them, but if you don't have Jesus, you will still have a longing that can't be satisfied by anything on earth. Turn to Him and He will show you what life is really about!

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Dearest Lord:

Thank you for my life. Thank you for the privilege of waking up each morning to serve you. Help me to treat others as you would have me and for my motives always to be to bring glory to you in everything I do. Thank you for the many blessings you give me and my family each day. Help me Lord to be able to reach out to others in Your Holy Name.

In Jesus name I pray,