Under His Wings, you will find refuge.

Under His Wings, you will find refuge.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Do I believe enough?

I have this verse hanging above my computer and I look at it several times a day;

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in Heaven may forgive you for your sins." Mark 11:24-25

Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours. That is some pretty powerful stuff. Do I not believe enough? I sure think I believe enough. I believe that God can heal me, that He can take this disease away from me, but maybe my belief is not strong enough, or maybe I don't believe it enough, or maybe I'm not doing my part, whatever that is. Is that why I'm not totally healed yet? I've always wondered in the back of my mind if I have something I'm holding against someone that I'm not confessing, and that is why I'm not healed?

I don't think that's the case, but maybe it is. I've asked the Lord to search my heart, and I always feel the same. But, I have to confess as a Christian lady I sometimes don't understand why I'm not healed of this disease. It's a bummer, and I'm tired of being sick :(

Am I doing something wrong Lord? I know that MS is a progressive disease and it gets a little bit worse, year by year. Some people with MS are in a lot worse shape than me, and then there are some who are doing better. I was thinking that maybe I'm more of a witness for Jesus being sick, than I ever would be if I were healthy? Is that it? Maybe that's why I continue to live with MS. I just can't see the ways of Providence, none of us can. I guess I'll just have to ask Jesus when I see Him face to face :)

Meantime, I will keep a smile on my face, thanking God for every breath He gives. What are you thoughts on believing and healing, blog friends? I'd love to hear your comments. Have a fabulous Sunday friends :)

My verse is from Mark 11-24-25 (above in red) and my prayer for today is:

Lord Jesus:

Search my heart and help me with anything I may be holding against anyone. Lord, you have forgiven me of my sins, help me to forgive others that may have sinned against me. Help me to BELIEVE in your mighty Healing power and trust in You for everything and always.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Friday, April 30, 2010

Hope is what we hang onto :)

Do you have a lot of hope? Hope is something I really hang onto to get me through each day, and something I especially cling to in the bad times. Hope that things will get better, hope that things will turn around for the difficult or heartbreaking situation in my life. Prayer and hope is what I put my faith in.

I have really had a lot of hope recently about this new MS CCSVI research that is going on. Could this be the cure we have been praying for, for so many years? I sure hope so, and that hope is a wonderful thing to hang on to, but if it's not the cure, then I hope there will be another cure in my lifetime to help me feel a little better and prevent others from having to deal with this disease.

I hope each day when I open my eyes that God can use me in my little corner of the world to make a difference in someone's life.

I hope that my Dad will feel better each day coming out of this terrible ordeal he's lived through these past few months. I hope my husband and kids will thrive and be encouraged, happy and healthy, and that our family can handle all the situations in our lives with dignity and grace. The list goes on and on, because I think that hope is what we all hang onto everyday to get us through the trials in this life.

Yes, I think Hope is a wonderful thing that the Lord has given us. How many times in a day do I say out loud or to myself...I hope this happens or I hope she says or he says, etc.

I think we all put a lot of faith in hope and the promise of hope. After all, isn't that what our faith is?Hope in God's promise of eternal life if we accept Jesus as Savior? I will hang onto tight to my hope...for my hope is in Jesus Christ-- He is a ray of light in this dark world we live in.

What do you put your hope in? The things of this world are fleeting at best. I sure need something more solid to put my hope in, how about you?

My verse for today is from Psalm 25:4-5:

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."

My prayer for today:

Lord, today has been a difficult day after my interferon shot, but I put my hope in you. Hope for a better day tomorrow, hope that Pop continues to improve and get stronger each day, and You will give him the hope of brighter tomorrows. Thank you Lord for being able to have hope to hang onto, for hope is what gets us through our brief days on this earth. Help me to give hope to others by the way I live my life each day. Help me to point them to you, for in you in our eternal hope.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Thursday, April 29, 2010

God touches our lives with His angels :)

Today, the Lord surrounded me with His loving care, by sending some of angels my way! I had lunch with a dear old friend, and she helped me run some errands; I talked on the phone to another close friend and encouraged her through a difficult time she's going through; I talked with my brother and got some more good news about my Pop, I received some very uplifting emails and comments through FB and then when I returned home, I had received a card in the mail from an old friend, that I've reconnected with through Facebook.

What a very delightful day for me. Then it was all capped off with a very enjoyable swim this evening with my husband (my forever angel). Did all this take away my pain? Unfortunately, no, but it did lighten my spirit and brighten my soul, which is a always a good thing and positive thing, no matter what.

I think the Lord just puts the people in your path to help lighten your load as you march through life. You can see them if you'll just pay attention. Do you have some special people in your life that help you get through the difficult times? I sure do and always have. Family members and friends that can help you so much, without them even knowing sometimes. To me, that's what life is all about...helping each other, through the good times and bad.

I think that is what God is all about! He wants to be totally involved in every aspect of our life, if we let Him; if we open our hearts and reach out to Him, he will surround us with His love and care in so many ways and through so many people.

I'm happy to report that my Dad is getting better, slowly but surely. He's out of ICU and in a regular room now, but he still faces a lot of physical challenges and is very weak, so please continue to pray for him.

The card I received today had a great phrase on the front:

"Like the sun that gently touches the face of every flower,
God touches our lives with His care."

And that's how I feel today - Like God touched my life with His care through His angels.

My Verse for today:

Psalm 91:14-16 "Because he loves me, says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

My prayer for today:

Thank you Lord for this day! You are so faithful. Thank you for sending Your angels to help me and for knowing my every need and providing for each and every one of them. Thank you for being so involved in my life. I love you Lord and I am so grateful.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Waiting on the Lord...

It's Wednesday, and I am pleased to report that my Pop continues to improve. Still in ICU, but improving daily. They might put move him to the floor tomorrow, so that is another Praise Report! Thank you Jesus! He has been thru so much these past two months, and is down. Please blog friends, continue to pray for healing and for his mental and emotional state.

I had a nice long swim in the pool today. It was cold, but really helped my legs. My legs have been getting increasing stiff and spastic, a lot more so than I've been used to over the years, and it scares me. I think of myself as a pretty tough ole' bird, I don't complain too much, but the last few weeks have been increasingly difficult for me, MS wise. My neuropathic pain is at an all time high, and I even told my hubby tonight that I'm considering going to a pain management Dr. to see what he can do. I've been on and off different drugs to try to help over the years, but it just keeps getting worse and worse, and the heat isn't even really here yet. Oh Boy :(

PT helps me keep flexible, but this neuropathic pain is starting to get to me. It's really bad in my legs. I feel like I'm on fire from the waist down, I have it in my back and fingers, head, and now I'm starting to get it down my right cheek. I think I'm more like my parents (actually my Dad) than I want to admit, cause I grin and bear it instead of complaining, but everybody has their limits. I use ice packs sometimes and that will help, but as of late, it's not doing too much at all.
I have an appt. with my neurologist in a week and I'll ask him, but I know from experience that there's not too much that can be done unless there's some radical new therapy I don't know about. Does anyone out there have any suggestions that may help? I'm open to anything. I'm even starting to have trouble sleeping even with my sleeping cocktail every night. HELP???

I just keep praying for a cure to this stinkin' disease. Give me patience Lord, to keep waiting this out, I'm really impatient today, but You suffered in Your earthly body, so why not me, right?

My verse for today in on suffering, which is running rampant in my family these last few days. Please pray for me and my Pop to patiently wait on the Lord:

Isaiah 40:31

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

My prayer for today:

Dear Lord,

Thank you for my Pop's improving condition. Thank you for answered prayers, and for continuing to surround him and my family with your love and comfort. Lord, I need to pray for me tonight. I want to run and not grow weary, I want to walk and not be faint. Heal my body Lord, from this MS, help me to wait on you during these difficult days. It's been a tough day, but I am waiting on you and I am believing in your perfect timing.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Thanksgiving and Praise!!!

It's been a long couple of days, but Pop is doing a bit better tonight and I am so thankful! That is such an answered prayer and I am praising the Lord and thanking Him for his Mighty Hand of healing upon my Dad. We're not out of the woods yet, but he made it through the night last night, and day today and everything is starting to work...a little. Thank you Jesus.

I want to thank everyone for their strong and prayers. God was listening and faithful and answered those prayers. That means so much to me and to my family. I had asked the Lord to help me get thru this, and He did, with a lot of love, prayers and support from everyone, old friends and new. I can definitely see His Hand in all this, can't you? As I go these especially difficult days, if I'm quiet, prayerful and still before God, I can feel the Lord's presence. No doubt in my mind.

I will continue to pray for my Pop, asking God to Heal his body and comfort his soul, and the same for my entire family, especially my Mom and my two brothers.

It's been a long 48, I'm tired physically, mentally and emotionally, but know that God is in charge of all, as He always is. Time to rest in the Lord.

I have a great verse to share tonight. I just opened my bible, and there it was, from

James 5:13-16

"Is any of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him, and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well, the Lord will raise him up. Therefore confess your sins to each other and prayer for each other, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

My prayer for tonight:

Dearest Heavenly Father;

Thank you Lord... thank you for answering the many prayers lifted up these past months, and especially the last day for my Pop. Thank you for surrounding me and my family with your angels to help us through this time. We continue to leave it all in your Hands Lord, and we are ever thankful.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Monday, April 26, 2010

Only God knows the number of our days...

Life is the greatest journey of all.

A wonderful, frustrating, difficult, satisfying, up and down day to day adventure we are all on. We are born on this earth, not of our own choosing, but part of God Almighty's plan. We struggle through life, trying to find where we fit in, always searching for more, for better, for the best life has to offer.

But what does the best life has to offer mean to me, to you, to anybody walking down the street? We grow up, we live our short time of this earth, and then we go home to our eternal home with the Lord. None of us, and I mean, none of us, know how much time we have here, or why God put us here. Your candle can burn brightly for a long time, or be snuffed out quickly, almost before it has a chance to glow.

As I write this afternoon, my Dad has had another setback. The emergency surgery went well yesterday, but now this afternoon, he is in acute renal failure. He's had a very hard couple of months starting with his stroke in February. My Dad is a very strong man, but he's worn down. Worn down by going to see Mom each day at the nursing home for the last year, worn down by living by himself for the first time in 62 years, worn down by life. Pop has been healthy most of his life, so he doesn't do sick well (although I don't really think any of us do sick well).

I am so thankful that my brothers are both well and healthy and live near him and Mom with their families. That has been such a blessing for them these past 12 years. The support that the whole family has given them, especially this last year, has been something they will never forget. They are very devoted to them, and have added so much to their lives because of that devotion. I am and always will be eternally grateful to all of them for that.

I'm praying for my Pop tonight, praying that they get his kidneys up and running and he can live some more. But, maybe that's not part of God's plan. Only the Creator of the Universe knows the plan, not me. I want Pop to stay here longer, because I want him here for me, for Mom, for my brothers and their families who live so close, but maybe that's not what God wants. I have totally selfish reasons for wanting my Dad to stay with us longer. My prayer now is for God's will to be done. Not an easy thing to pray for, but I believe, the absolute right prayer at this time.

It's so hard being so far away, it's hard being sick myself and not being able to just jump on a plane right now. But I can't do it, I physically can't do it. So, I need to turn it all over to God. I can't fix this, I can only pray for him, and that is what I am doing, full force today. My Pop knows the Lord, he is a strong believer in Jesus Christ, so I know he will spend his eternity with God. What a comfort that is not to have to worry about that. I just don't want him to suffer anymore than he has to - but that's all in God's Hands too. We all go through this time in life. Lord, help me get through this.

I've been thinking about the time I was able to spend up on our mountain in NC with my folks a few years ago. We were having some work done on our slope and Steve couldn't get away, so Mom and Pop came up and stayed with me. That was a wonderful time together. They loved it up there and I am so grateful that we had that week together. Mom used to love to out on the deck in the morning drinking her coffee and looking down into the valley and Pop loved to the quiet and the beauty of it all. Thank you Jesus that we had that time together. I will always cherish those memories.

I've been reading the beloved 23rd Psalm this afternoon as I think about my Dad. My verse is Psalm 23-4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

My prayer for today:

Lord God Almighty,

My Pop is walking through this valley right now, but only YOU know the hours of his days. Give him Your comfort and Your peace. Heal him Lord if if be your will. Guide the doctors and the nurses and everyone taking care of him. Help him not to be in pain. Please Lord, be with my family, with my Mom and my brothers and all of my family who love Pop so much. Give them strength to get through these days, knowing that You are in charge of all. Thank you Lord for my Dad and his life and the wonderful legacy that he has always given our family.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Thinking cool..thanks for the prayers, friends :)

I've been up and down all night. My head is very tender to touch, I'm gonna write in this blog for a few minutes, get an icepack and head back in to lay down. I got two very encouraging things from friends Karen and Martha.Two are verses and the other a poem, they both helped me tremendously and I am very grateful. I love the book of Psalms, and often turn there when I have an especially bad day.

So - with that said- These are my verses/poems for today: Maybe they will bring you comfort too.

Psalm. 40:17

As for me, since I am poor and needy, let the Lord keep me in his thoughts. You are my helper and my savior. O my God, do not delay.

Psalm. 124:8 Our help is from the Lord who made heaven and earth.


"I met God in the morning when my day was at its best. And his presence came like sunrise, like a glory in my breast. All day long the presence lingered. All day long He stayed with me. And we sailed in perfect calmness O'er a very troubled sea. So I think I know the secret. Learned from many a troubled way. You must seek Him in the morning if you want Him through the day!"

Thank you friends. I will hang on to these words throughout the day. My hope comes from the Lord and you must seek Him in the morning, when you are fresh and at your best, I should have done that BEFORE I took Mollie for a walk :( Will I ever learn? DUH?

When my head starts in like this, what I do is pray and do my bio-feedback which can help with the intense pain. Today I definitely go in the pool. Steve got it all ready yesterday and I can't wait to dive in for the first time this year. Thank you Jesus that I have a pool - that makes such a difference for me. Diving into the cool water feels like I'm resetting my nervous system, and can function for a while. Thinking about my mountain and a beautiful morning sunrise and the cool weather up there: think cool, think cool, think cool. That's what I have to say to myself :)

Have a blessed Sunday friends, this is the Lord's day: Praise Him today! -and relax, renew, revive. He gave us this sabbath day so we could do just that :)

Blessings,
Nicki