Sunday, March 4, 2012

Can you forgive and forget?

I've been thinking lately about the power to forgive. Life is messy. We get hurt from many directions and from all different kinds of people. Often it can be from the people that are closest to us. Forgiveness is something that isn't always easy. Sure it can be for simple things, but what about when someone really hurts you right down to your core? Can you forgive then and even more important can you truly forget about what you think they did to you?

There are two different kinds of forgiveness. One is having the faith and love to forgive someone who has hurt you and the other is the forgiveness of your own sins. Turning to Jesus Christ and asking for Him to redeem you for everything wrong you have done in your life. He can wash you clean and give you a new life. Often, the two are intertwined. When you are forgiven, you in turn, want to extend that forgiveness to those you may have hurt.

Life's wounds can run deep in a person and hold on tight. Things get left unsaid, sometimes the passage of years or some distance in miles can make a difference, or at least seem to put a band aid on your emotions so you can go on with your life. But does the hurt really go away, or are you just burying it deep down and still holding onto anger, bitterness and a grudge towards the offending party?
                                                        Sometimes the hurt can be too much to bare, 
                                                           but God wants you to find the strength to forgive.

Often, a simple I'm sorry just won't do it because there can be years of hurt that won't just go away over night.

But, things can change, there is hope and God can change any situation you think can't possibly heal. He is the God of new beginnings and He is all about forgiveness. After all, he sacrificed His only Son to give you a chance to redeem yourself through the forgiveness of your sins. But, YOU have to be willing to make the choice to forgive.

Colossians 3:13 talks about obedience to the Lord and true forgiveness this way "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." (emphasis mine)
The foundations of Christianity are built on God's forgiveness
 of our sins through his son Jesus Christ

Forgive as the Lord forgave you! Those are pretty strong words aren't they? But that is the way God wants you to forgive. He doesn't want you to hold anything back. But what does that mean?

Forgive and Forget? 

I was reading an article online yesterday about forgiveness. Author Mary Fairchild said " I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by our obedience to God and His command to forgive." The word that stuck out to me was OBEDIENCE. You are being obedient to the Lord when you choose to forgive. Isn't that reason enough to do it, right there?

Yesterday morning, I was listening to Pastor John Haggee, a TV minister out of Texas that I great admire because he preaches the word of God with authority and with no apologies. At the end of his regular sermon he had a special segment on forgiveness. 

He said "You cannot have a relationship with God Almighty if you refuse to forgive and forget, because if you act like that, He will will choose not to forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15 says  "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither (emphasis his) will your Father forgive your trespasses"  "Many Christians want to bury the hatchet, but they want to bury the hatchet with the sharp side up. It doesn't work that way folks." He is on the Throne and He is a God of Authority. He will do exactly as He says He will. If you want to be forgiven, you absolutely must forgive and forget."
You can't forgive by burying the hatchet with the sharp side up!

In Hebrews 10:17 the Lord says  "And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more." That means He truly will NEVER, EVER remember your sins. Once you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior and are redeemed and forgiven by the blood of Jesus, your sinful past is OVER. Your slate is wiped clean. When you stand before God Almighty on Judgement day, He won't say "Hey, wait, what about that thing you did back in 1985, let's have a discussion about that."  

So how does that mean to us? If God forgives us through His love, mercy and grace, then he wants us to do exactly the same thing. We need to let it go. We need to wipe the slate clean. Don't dwell in the past. It's over. Don't mention it again. Finito. Forgive AND forget~

We cannot stand before a righteous and Holy God if we cannot forgive the way He forgives. We cannot even come anywhere near Him. That is why Jesus Christ came into the world. He is the bridge between sinful man and righteous God. He makes it all possible. We can commune with God Almighty because of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice. Thank you Lord for Your perfect plan of Salvation!

1 John 1:8-9 says "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

We are all sinners, and we all need forgiveness, 
Jesus is the Bridge that makes that happen! 
If you have some unforgiveness in your life that needs resolving, now is the time. Don't wait. It will only eat at you and further your agony. It's ok. Say you're truly sorry. You can do it through the love of Jesus Christ. Turn the corner, make a fresh start in your life. You will feel better and so will the other person.

God will forgive your sins and you will be washed clean with Heaven's rain! 
Confess your sins to Almighty God and He will forgive you. Search your heart and find it within yourself to forgive someone who has hurt you. Forgiveness is the best present you can ever give or receive~ guaranteed.Then you can begin to heal and really live again.

My verses for today are above in red.

My prayer for today:

Dear Heavenly Father:

Thank you for your gift of forgiveness. Thank you that you make it available to all of us for the asking. Help me Lord to forgive people that have hurt me because I know that is what you command me to do. Help me not to hold grudges. Help me to wipe the slate clean and never bring it up again, because when I stand before you Lord, I want you to say to me " Good job, good and faithful servant, enter your Heavenly Home because your sins have been wiped clean. Thank you Lord. You are my everything.

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen and Amen


  1. Bury them any way you can. If sharp side up, at least you will learn to be careful trying to dig them up! And then learn to leave them buried after enough cuts... !

  2. I debated on whether or not to publish your cutting comment,but after prayer I realized that you have a hard time with forgiveness and this is your way of lashing out, so go ahead, I'm not offended. Forgiveness is what Jesus is all about, and I will write and preach His truth until I don't have any breath left in me.

    I'll be praying for you Dave. God Bless you~

  3. Here is a comment left on the Passionate and Creative Linked In Group this morning about this entry:

    Group: Writers & Bloggers: Passion Creative
    Discussion: Faith Walk365

    Loved this! I hope that you continue in what you are doing. You may not be able to Go unto all the world, but your words are! Be blessed because you are a blessing to so many already! L-O-V-E-D it!

    Posted by Dayna Bickham

  4. Cynthia Cartwright Early from Linked InTuesday, March 6, 2012 at 8:11:00 PM EST

    I am reading the book "When Parents Hurt/ Adult Children who are estranged. I believe we have the ability to forgive.. Yet; there are times when it harder to forget.. That is a human quality God has given us.
    Before my 89 year old Father (who molested me?) asked me for forgiveness, and it was about time to know it never was in my head.
    I forgave him. .. I was sent back to Louisiana where I was bred.
    God had a hand in this.. (By the way, yes.. I did forgive him.)
    visit in 2006. My Dad died right before my own eyes. I actually saw
    God's hands which are larger than life itself pick up my Dad.
    Now, with the forgetting? Somehow God also gave me a gift that would last a lifetime. I was there when he asked for forgiveness, and was there when he died in 2006.. non other person in the room before he died could understand what he was saying.. but I did.. somehow I just did.
    When my sister in law looked at me and said, "Now we don't have to take care of "Her", my Mom.. with a short glance they looked at me.
    I will take that comment to my grave. I would never want to hurt my Mom even though her and I seldom got along.. I will read the rest of your blog. I am sorry I didn't before I wrote to and I apologize for that.


  5. Dear Cynthia:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are a very courageous woman to have the love, mercy and grace and in your heart to forgive your father and give him and yourself that gift before his death.

    He was most certainly not deserving, but neither are any of us, yet the Lord opens His loving Arms to the worst of us.

    You were showing your Dad and your family the love of Jesus in an awesome way when you forgave him for his awful sins.

    I know God had his Hand in that situation. I call them a "God-Things" because certain things happen in life that can only come by His gracious Hand. You can see Him orchestrate situations, and there is no doubt who is in control.

    God Bless you Cynthia for sharing your incredible story of forgiveness. I really appreciate your comments.

    In Christian love,

  6. forgiveness is a byproduct of love, which is a fruit of the spirit. Forgiveness is something we grow in. I believe that Jesus is very clear about forgiveness in the parable about the master forgiving the debtor, (Matt 18) We must forgive as Christ forgave us, but for some, and I have been there, walking in forgiveness is a growing and stretching time, and is not always easy. You are right that one either is in Christ or not, but that is salvation. We are looking at becoming more Christ like post salvation here, and walking in forgiveness must be a learned behavior that does not come naturally, but is part of the process of Romans 12:1-2 laying down our life and taking up his. Thank you for this post Nicki! Great job. You may want to read this post on forgiveness:

    Again- great job!
    Posted by Dayna Bickham

  7. We can never come close to the forgiveness of God. The only thing we can do is let
    Christ live through us, and get our selves out of the way.

  8. Hey
    In my book "Broken by Addiction Blessed by God- a woman's path to sustained recovery" I include a summary of Desmond Tutu's model of forgiveness in the chapter on anger and abuse. Healing in recovery cannot happen until we learn to forgive. And I believe as Frederick Buechner says, "Trying to forgive yourself is like trying to sit in your own lap." We must first understand God's forgiveness of us.(See more about the book on amazon under the title of the book)
    I also have a new book being published this fall by Liguori Publisher entitled "Filling the God-shaped Void-a book of daily devotions." Forgiveness, transforming our lives, empowerment through the Holy Spirit and taking in God's promises are major themes.
    It is wonderful to connect with people centered in these thoughts.

    Penny Mary Hauser

  9. Thank you Penny! I will be interested to look up your books, current and future.

    Likewise, I love to connect with other believers who are trying to walk in the Lord's path each day.

    I know He wants us to lift each other up each day and this is one way of doing it!

    God Bless you!

  10. One is either in Christ or one is not. For those that are in Christ forgiveness comes naturally.

    Posted by Jack Vorster

  11. What is 'Faith' after all?
    Is it believing in Self or believing in Others?
    or believing in God?
    or a combination of all?
    Believing in self is 'Confidence'.
    Believing others is based on experience and 'trust',
    but faith in God is due to our desire for additional strength whenever we find our own limiting. Otherwise, if we honestly believe in the existence of God, then why we do remember Him sincerely only when in despair?
    Why we we go to masses or places of worship ( according to our faith) as a ritual without our entire concentration on 'prayers'?
    Why we do not control our 'Everyday acts, our anger, our lust and greed, our behaviour, our selfish attitude'?
    Why we enter in to a bargain with God by telling God, 'Oh God, give me this and I will hold a special mass or give so much to charity or do this, that etc.?
    U have mentioned that "There are two different kinds of forgiveness. One is having the faith and love to forgive someone who has hurt you and the other is the forgiveness of your own sins". How come, U can forgive Ur own sins? Ur sins are Ur deliberate 'wrong acts' and U r supposed to repent for that and try to repair the damages by Ur good acts.
    U can and U should forgive all those who have hurt U or 'man kind' unintentionally, but if they have hurt U or 'man kind' intentionally' for their selfish gains, then r U supposed to forgive them?
    U can forgive some one for ur personal hurt but not for 'man kind'.
    Why should U Turn to Jesus Christ and ask for Him to redeem you for everything wrong you have done in your life?
    Why U should not repent and suffer for all the wrongs U have done? If U repent sincerely for all the wrongs U have done, U can and should try to reverse the wrong doings by Ur good acts.
    If U follow this path, then and only then, God will listen to Ur sincere prayers and 'treat them as Mercy petitions' and give U more tolerance to lessen Ur sufferings. Then only, He will guide U and show U the ways through which ur sufferings can be reduced but still, U will have to repay for Ur wrong doings.
    Ur every act is recorded in the 'books of the God' and U get paid back accordingly.

    Posted by Rajendranath Mehrotra

  12. Dayna, I was putting it in a nutshell. I realize there is a lot more to it. Paul refers to the "old man" in us struggling against the new man in Christ. We constantly have to renew our minds to the fact of Galations 2:20. I have a new freely downloadable ebook on the subject at

    Posted by Jack Vorster

  13. Penny -- I like the sound of this... and F.B.'s quote is almost true, Interesting at least. I think that if we do what it takes, in our own lives, to be more Christ like then we are on the right path. But I do think I can forgive myself for not being perfect. There is only one Perfect and I am not Him.

    I have learned, as pointed out above to forgive myself for just that... not being perfect. Not that I actually have ever thought I was. It's just a way I operate my life and it has been for as long as I can remember.

    Yes, forgiveness comes from and is born of Love. I am glad I believe it and have it within me -- to give to others as well as myself.

    Posted by Kathleen Kline

  14. Amen Kathleen! One thing I know...their is a God and I ain't Him! I am so thankful for His forgiveness each day. Couldn't live my life without it. Thank you Jesus!

  15. Forgiving is a very emotional phenomenon, it is a feeling that comes from your heart and also the person who is egoless and have loads of patience to overcome any sort of situation. In other way forgiving actually gives immense inner satisfaction. Infact, it connects us very closer to God.

    Posted by aisha Aisha

  16. I agree--we must become like children in order to have Heaven on Earth. We NOW have Hell on Earth, and it must be dealt with by those who know "of God," and that is NOT just a Christian need, at THIS time in the history of the world. We have been taught many things by our various religions and interpretations. Much of it has been sustaining for many generations through many, many trials and tests of Faith. We must recognize, however, that some of what has been taught and learned by us works against us and were written and taught by some, for thousands of years, who had AGENDAS that were NOT from God. For Christians, much of what Jesus taught was like a training ground, as well as prophets down through the ages in all cultures, to prepare us for THESE times, AFTER we, who know OF GOD, have dealt with the transgressors among us, until the transgressors have OWNED their stuff--with humility and grace and have submitted to God in THIS life. Until that happens, the transgressors NEED to face an unpenetrable WALL until they have completed their inner journey. THE WALL is from GOD and from those who know OF GOD and have already submitted to HIM, which embraces ALL, in FAITH in GOD, not in "beliefs." We ALL have much to learn in the ways God does HIS work and HOW ANGRY HE is in regards to what has been done and said in HIS name, in HIS World. We have NOT learned our TRUE history; much has been very manipulated to suit MAN's need for control and power. Perspectives based on Un-True History are not worth much. but does cause much hate, discontent, distrust, and self-righteousness. Heeding God's Call to HIM is the ONLY way this Planet, ALL of Nature and Humanity will be able to SURVIVE because of the DEFIANCE and IGNORance of mankind of God's Gifts THIS is the War. GOD versus MAN. ALL must ask GOD for HIS forgiveness. Evil was created by MAN, as an excuse to DEFY God. People who are aware of their conscience, heart, and soul are not defeated by man's evil; they do not CARE if "evil" is angry with them. They DO care if GOD is angry with them. People of the Lies do not CARE about anybody, especially God. Therein is the difference. Look to the night sky, Orion's Belt...choose a Triangle of heart and conscience with GOD as the brightest Star, the space within that triangle is your Soul. Your Soul is your sole job in life, the inner journey, in THIS life. Reclaim God's World for HIM and with HIM, with Faith, Courage, and His empowering Strength. Who am I to say these things? HIS Daughter, who has the Soul of HIS Son. I have submitted to GOD only, for a Lifetime. Amen.

    Posted by Ann Osborn

  17. We must enter the kingdom as a child. A child easily forgives and is forgiven! When an adult is called upon to forgive an horrendous assault, the only possible way to forgive is through the strength of God's Holy Spirit! Only then will forgiveness be shared and given.

    Posted by Jeanene Barnes

  18. In order for forgiveness to occur, the one in need of forgiveness must heart-fully state and show their "wrong" of trespass in all senses of the word. There are those among us who are not even aware of their "need" because they have not discovered their SOUL. We are taught BELIEFS to ACCEPT that in others, much to our own peril and the world's peril. FAITH, on the other hand, teaches us through many life experiences that GOD would REJECT those who have not discovered and honored or come to terms with the soul in them, granted by God at First Breath, so WHY would you or I? One does not CEDE God's Power within you TO THEM. That is REAL power, from GOD. That is how REAL change occurs in a World ruled by money, brutal strength, and technological amorality without a conscience. It gives us the COURAGE to be a leader, a protector of Nature, children, the lame, the sick, the poor, the homeless, the abused, the forgotten ones, and of God's World, for HIM. Through FAITH, not beliefs, we HEAL.

    Posted by Ann Osborn

  19. Wow, I am overwhelmed by all of your loving responses to my post on Forgiveness.

    Our Lord's forgiveness is a gift of His Mercy and Grace. Ephesians 2:8 tells us: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God"--

    Nothing we can do can improve upon that or change that. We are saved from our sins by God's GRACE and that is it!

    From that moment forward we belong to Him and as such He convicts us in the way we live. Once you are a child of God, you may stray away but He will always pull you back and discipline you accordingly. You are His Child and He displines His children.

    Proverbs 3:11-12 says "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in."

    God's forgiveness is absolute. It doesn't change or go away as it should be with our forgiveness also. We shouldn't be Indian givers. Once we forgive, that should be it and the sin or grievance should be forgotten. Not always easy, but that is part of the forgive and forget promise.

    Raj, God is Not in the payback business. Once your sins are forgiven, your forgiveness is absolute and eternal and He remembers you sins no more. You can never EARN a better place in the Lord's eyes. Nothing we ever do is worthy because we are sinners by nature. Even though our Sins are forgiven by the blood of Jesus, we continue to sin and need to repent and be given forgiveness over and over again each moment of each day. That goes on our entire lives. Only God is perfect, yet He wants a relationship with His children. That is why He sent His only Son to die for our sins and reconcile us back to Him.

    We are so fortunate to have a Creator that cares so much about his Children!

  20. I believe that forgivenness starts with forgiving ourselves. Until we can do that, it is not easy to forgive others. It all starts with us. I have found that Ho'oponopono works wonders as we communicate directly with God. All one has to do is say "I'm sorry, forgive me, I love you, thank you. It is about gratitude, about loving self because we are the ones that make the mistakes. It is powerful and wonderfully healing.

    Posted by Rosemary Dan


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