Saturday, February 15, 2014

Can you see God through the pain?

If you have MS, you know that every day you wake up, you just aren't quite sure what you will be facing. That's just a fact about living with a chronic, debilitating, progressive disease. You may go a short period of time where your symptoms are manageable, and then, wack, you are reminded very clearly that, yes, you do have multiple sclerosis, and yes, that particular day, I feel pretty much like you want to crawl back under the covers and not deal with any of this!

As I've stated before, generally, I'm a pretty happy go lucky kind of gal. As many of you know I had my 4th CCSVI procedure about 3 months ago to try and bring my burning ears and head pain under control, which I'm happy to say, it did. But now that that area of my body is under control, here comes another section of my bod, jumping right in to pick up the slack!

I don't like complaining about my MS so I don't talk to often about what it's like to live with chronic pain each day. It's just not my style. I'd rather talk about the blessings that the Lord has given me, instead. I've lived with this disease for over 25 years now, and believe me, there has been a tremendous amount of suffering, but there have also been blessings that have resulted from my living with MS. I'd rather concentrate on the blessings, than complain about the pain, and I am thankful to God for that too.

The last few days, however, my neuropathic pain in my legs and hands is really getting to me. I've had the sensation of pins and needles pretty much all over my body ever since my bad MS attack back in 1997. I kept waiting for that to go away, unfortunately, it has just continued to get worse. It's basically from fried nerve endings all over my body, and it pretty much feels like someone has lit my body on fire. Not a pleasant thought is it? Kinda feels like this~~

And believe me, there are days, I just want to jump in a cool body of water to take that pain away. However, at this time of year, our pool is a little too cold for that. And although it does work in the summer, it only lasts for a short while and then the pain returns. So, you ask, what do I do? I've tried Lyrica, the big drug out on the market for nerve pain, that you see advertised everyday and was actually on it for a few years. It did very little to help and after 2 years when I decided to go off of it, well, let's just say I won't be trying that drug again anytime soon, it almost killed me during withdrawals. I've been getting through the pain by putting ice packs on my head or legs and that helps for a while and then taking a pain med to get me through the night. That knocks me out and allows me to sleep. 

So, why am I talking about it today? Well, I've been suffering quite a bit and have been in a lot of pain these past few days, so much so, that I'm even praying about going to a pain management doctor about this. Mainly because I know that although I've lived with this for many years now, I probably shouldn't have. There has got to be something that can be done to ease some of these most uncomfortable symptoms. Pain management doctor you say? I always thought they were only for the absolute worse cases? Well,who's to say I'm not one of those worst cases? Guess I'll find out.

I pray about this everyday, asking for the Lord's deliverance to get me through the pain and He always brings me through. Now though, I'm thinking He wants me to try to help myself by trying a new and different doctor that can maybe stop the pain and bring it under control before I really go mad. Just like with finding CCSVI, I believe He will open the doors of heaven and help me.

I am seeing the light of Jesus through this pain and know that He will help me find just the right doctor to bring me relief. I'm seeing my neuro in Tampa on Tuesday and will seek his guidance. I am trusting in Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith, to see me through yet another trial with MS. And, I know He surely will because the bible assures me that He will never leave my side! Thank goodness for that! Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Praise God!

I have so much to be excited about right now. Life is great! I've just created a website to the Glory of God I'm posting bible verses, a Sarah Young Devotional daily, Inspirational Thoughts for each day, and I haven't got time not be able to handle these things, because I know they bring Glory to you, Jesus!  I am not going to let this bout of pain get to me because I know that God has much bigger plans for me. He has things He wants me to accomplish. He wants me to spread His Word in a mighty way and I will not lie down and give into this pain!!! Thank you Jesus for giving me perseverance to see this through! I know you are with me. I will not let go of your hand!

Please help me friends, by saying a prayer for me. I will surely appreciate them. God Bless you all.

My verse for today is above in red

My prayer for today:

Dear Heavenly Father:

I need your help. I am in pain, Lord and I am suffering quite a bit. Help me Lord. Help me through this pain so I can come out on the other side and bring you glory. I will give all the glory to you because I know that everything I have comes from your Mighty Hand. Thank you Lord for I know you have already answered this prayer and it will happen in your perfect timing!

In Jesus Name I pray,
Amen and Amen

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