Saturday, May 16, 2015

Trusting and Believing ~~~

On April 2 of this year I received a notification from my insurance carrier, Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Florida that my insurance had been cancelled after 15 years.

I had picked up a conversion policy after I left work on disability in 2000 and have remained on that insurance, faithfully paying my premiums without fault. This very comprehensive policy was quite wonderful with outstanding pharmacy coverage. Believe it or not, I was only paying $7.00 for my prescriptions, including my Copaxone, my MS disease modifying drug, (DMD) that costs over $5,000 a month.Talk about a God-Thing!

Woah! I have to admit that I was in a complete PANIC about losing my insurance! I got on the phone immediately with Blue Cross and was told that my policy was dropped because it wasn't in alliance with the new qualifications of the "Affordable Care Act."

Are you kidding me? What about all that "talk our President gave us ..."If you like your health insurance, you can keep your health insurance.?" After calming down and lots of prayer and research into new insurance, I learned after a few weeks that if I wanted to keep my Copaxone, it was going to cost me around $8,000 a year. What to do? I really wasn't up for us paying $8,000 a year out of our own pocket for a drug that I wasn't even sure was doing anything for me in the first place. I began to really pray about what direction God wanted me to go.

Recently, there has been more and more in the news, on the internet and in social media about the MS drugs DMD's not doing what they are purported to do in the first place.

Since my CCSVI procedure in August 2010, and seeing the tremendous improvement I had once my jugular veins were opened up and my blood was flowing properly to and from my brain, I just wasn't convinced that the DMDs I was taking were worth it. I had been on two of them after a bad MS attack in 2009. Avonex and Copaxone, a double therapy prescribed by my Sarasota neurologist. I dropped the Avonex after my CCSVI procedure and just hung on to the Copaxone, not sure why.  I always had really bad reactions to the Avonex, it made me sick as a dog for 36 hours each week. That was a natural and easy to drop, no problem. I have been thinking about dropping the Copaxone for a while, and thought, well, as long as it's only costing me $7.00 a  month, I guess I don't have anything to lose. And, I knew it made my husband happy, it was like a stop-gap.  I wasn't getting any bad reactions, and it didn't cost anything, so why not, right?

Well, when the rug was pulled out from underneath me, I had to re-think everything. I cried out to the Lord--Are you trying to tell me something Lord? What is the answer you want me to hear? The answer was made very clear to me......TRUST ME, I'M IN CHARGE OF YOU!! Give the drug up! And so, that is exactly what I've decided to do. I'm going ALL IN with Jesus!

I am believing God to take care of me from this day forward. I am trusting in His will and His providential care. I have alot of MS virtual friends and some real live ones too. Some of them take the MS drugs, some of them don't. Everybody has a different opinion on what direction to take. I listened to them all and surely appreciated the many prayers that my friends and family continue to lift up on my behalf. But my God has the Real True Answer for me. TRUST HIM!

One thing is for sure. They are no guarantees in this life, for any of us, sick or not. None of us know what we are going to face when we wake up in the morning. But God does. He is the one with the plan for each of us. Our job, as I see it, is to trust and obey. Trust Him with everything and so I am.

One of my favorite verses is from Proverbs 3:5-6 

  " Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."

My verse for today is above in red. My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father:

I am trusting you with everything. You are the one in charge of me, not the doctors, not the medicine. Heal me Lord, use me to testify to Your Glory throughout this journey I am on. Give me the strength to reach out of others that may be suffering or hurt. Help me to reach out to all of them in Your precious name.


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