Do you have a dream? Something you have been longing for, for many years? Something you thought was unattainable and totally out of reach? It could be anything. It may be simple as more time with your family after a long work day, or maybe it's a bit more challenging like a new, more fulfilling job, a bigger house, or a better relationship with your spouse. Then there are the really big dreams, like mine, which has been asking God for healing from a chronic progressive and disabling disease.
My dream for the past 12 1/2 years was for God to deliver me from this MS that has been slowly taken over my life, especially the past 3 years. MS is a chronic, progressive and debilitating disease. I knew that when I was diagnosed back in 1998 but I never fully realized the extent of what it could do to you until things began really going downhill for me in late 2007. Then I fell in February '08, and had to begin using a small tri - walker. Within 6 months I had another unfortunate accident on a golf cart with my son and tore the left ball right out of my rotater cuff. That really set me back for at least 6 months and put me into a heavier 4 wheeled walker. Although I've completely recovered physically from that little incident, I don't think the rest of my body had gotten the message yet cause I have really been moving slower and slower these past 3 years.
Then along comes something called CCSVI. In February, my son Biff had mentioned something about it to me in February when we were visiting my very ill father in TN. I put it in the back of my mind because I had to focus on Dad and the MS Walk coming up at the end of March, but I remembered the name of the pioneer who discovered it: Dr. Zamboni, just like the ice resurfacing machine. I won't forget that I thought, and I didn't.
As I began my months long inquiry into CCSVI, I quickly discovered that not only was it a scientific discovery of monumental proportions, it was also an amazing love story. Well, I've always loved loved stories and this one has a terrific ending. Dr. Zamboni's wife has MS and as he watched her suffer, he just couldn't stand by and see her continue to go downhill. He began his own personal quest to look at MS outside the box and see if it be caused by something different. He discovered that in 100% of the patients he tested, every one of them had decreased blood flow from their brain. He also discovered that a simple angioplasty procedure to open up blocked jugular veins, improved symptoms of the disease dramatically! In my opinion Dr. Zamboni should get the Pulitzer price for medicine, because this is such a radical and revolutionary discovery and it is turning the MS world on it's head!
Is it a God-thing? I believe it is. I believe with all my heart that CCSVI is the miracle that so many of us with MS have prayed for, for so many, many years,
I had the procedure done last Thursday. This is Tuesday, and I am greatly improved. My right side which has always been weaker, is now stronger. I am able to put my own shoes on, which may seem like a small thing to you, but to me and my husband it is HUGE. I can lift my right leg into bed without having to pull in it to bed. I can get up out of a chair quickly and like a normal person, which I haven't be able to do in years. I am able to walk again with my tri-walker and hope to be able to be back on a cane after I do a few months of physical therapy. After all, I have to retrain myself how to walk now. And, even though I'm using my small walker, I'm walking like a normal person, bending me knees, which I haven't been able to do in years. My fatigue level has been greatly reduced and now I can stay up for 5 to 6 hours instead of the normal 2-3 hours and then falling down from exhaustion. I am expect that to get better as well! Thank you Jesus~~
I still have my neuropathic pain, but it slightly decreased and it is changing. I am dreaming again for the first time in years. My speech is better, I feel the cognitive fog lifting and I'm thinking more clearly and more quickly. All these things may seem pretty insignificant to you, but if you have MS these are the little things you do everyday that are taken away from you, slowly but surely, year after year as the disease progresses. Having some of those back with the hope of more and more coming down the road is definitely a God-thing. A Praise the Lord thing - a Thank you Jesus thing. A Praise Report to the Utmost! I am rejoicing in that now, my suffering is coming to an end. I am expecting a total miracle and complete healing from my CCSVI surgery.
So, CCSVI is my miracle, sent straight from God, through a passionate doctor named Paulo Zamboni. I am thanking the Lord for the many blessings I continue to receive. I have always tried to give the Lord the Praise in all situations, good and bad, but even I have to admit that in the past years, it has seemed like more and more of them appeared to be bad.
But our God is forever Faithful. When you honor Him, He does come through, in HIS PERFECT TIME, not ours. Our job is to keep praying, keep obeying, keep looking up to Him for our answers. Hang in there friends~~God always delivers, In His timing, He will answer.
My verse for today is from 1 Peter 1:1
" In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
My prayer for today:
Oh dear Lord, God of this universe,
Thank you so much Lord for Dr. Arslan, and my successful CCSVI surgery last Thursday. Thank you for answering prayers. I do Praise you Jesus for Dr. Zamboni, I do praise you for these brave doctors who are pushing the boundaries to help those of us suffering with this terrible disease. Thank you for giving me your strength to get me through many tough times living with MS. I pray that you will give your strength to everyone who is suffering with this and all diseases Lord. Be with them Lord. Open the doors of their heart so they may feel the peace and love that only you can bring. As always Lord God, You get all the Honor and all the Praise and all the Glory.
Have you read the wonderful book by Bruce Wilkinson, entitled " The Dream Giver?" I bought the book and read it many years ago, and loved it. Yesterday, while cleaning, I discovered it again under my night table. It is a quick and easy read, so I opened it and began to let the words flow through me. It has even more meaning to me right now because of some of the increased stresses I am personally am going through as it relates to my MS and my upcoming CCSVI procedure tomorrow and some of the situations we are going through as a family, as well.
I believe with the author that the Lord God Almighty wants us to dream BIG! He only wants the biggest and best for our lives if we are willing and able and up for the task!
I have been dreaming over the last 12 years about God healing my body. I have dreamed for it, and I have prayed. There have been many people praying for me these past 12 years, and they have not given up. They have continued to tell me "We're praying and believing for God's miracle to heal you." I would always answer that I believe it to, because I have believed with all my heart, that in His perfect timing, God was going to move and begin my healing.
The road has been long and arduous, but the Lord has been with me, all the way. I've tried pretty much every drug available, some have helped, others my body has had severe reactions too. All the while, I have been believing in God's promise of never leaving or forsaking me, in good times and bad. I can tell you that there have been alot of down times, when I have doubted that I was ever going to feel better. With MS being a progressive disease, and the drugs only slowing down that progression, there have been many lonely times, many times I've thought "Lord, please heal me so I can more effectively serve you." I am your servant, what's the problem Jesus?"
But I have always known that God has a plan for my life, and have believed that this time is my "Wasteland" or Exodus time as it says in the book. Tomorrow, my Wasteland days are over and I am moving to the Promise Land! Thank you Jesus for any and all things you are going to do through this procedure tomorrow. My life is in your Hands.
My verse for today:
Matthew 4:23
"Jesus went through Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness among the people."
My prayer for today:
Thank you for honoring my dreams of healing! You ARE the Dream Giver, and I am claiming that my dream will come true! Thank you for totally ordering the events of the last 5 months to bring me to this place in time. Thank you for any and all healing that will take place in my body tomorrow. Thank you for guiding me to Dr. Arslan. Be with him tomorrow, be right in that operating room with all the doctors and nurses as they perform my procedure. Give me your peace. I am praising you and thanking you for everything in my life Lord, I know it comes by your hand. Thank you for faithful family and friends who have prayed for many years for my healing. Thank you for my wonderful husband and sons and the gift that they have been in my life. Thank you Jesus for everything. I praise your Holy Name!
I am rejoicing with everything in my soul today! I am singing praising to the Lord for the great things he has done. I am forever amazed at God and his perfect timing! He answers our prayers, in His perfect timing, not ours.
There are so many things God-things going on in my life right now, I am about to explode! I want to share with you about my son Jordy and the struggles he has faced these past 4-5 years. God gave him a real breakthrough this past Sunday and brought him to his knees. I believe with all my heart that this is a new beginning for Jordy and our family. Please know that what I am to going to share with you I do with Jordy's full permission and encouragement." As he said - "Mom, maybe it will help someone else with their problems and lead more people to Jesus and bring Glory to God. I'm not perfect, but I'm forgiven and want to try to start my life over again."
Prior to beginning this blog, we had events happening in our lives and I felt God moving, even though I wasn't sure how everything was going to turn out....are we ever? Anyway, I began praying fervently, asking the Lord what he wanted me to do, and the answer came like a hard, fast ball. "You love the internet, you like to blog, how about using your talents for me, and let the world see what I am doing?" OK - Lord, I thought, let's go....
I began this Godwatch365 blog last April, with the Lord's guidance and love and my goal was for everyone, including all my friends and family, to be able to share a year in my ordinary and often boring life to see if we could identify God at work. I have been overwhelmed by the Lord's answer to prayer, because things sure are changing in me and in lives all around me. All to the Glory of God! WOW - He doesn't mess around!
Many of you have seen first hand or may have heard about the struggles we have had with our younger son Jordy. Unfortunately, we had to kick him out of our home 4 times since he began his senior year in high school. It has been a very difficult stretch for our family these past 4 to 5 years. He has had a very tough time growing up. Jordy has had a very insidious marijuana addiction, among other things. He was selling pot, lying, stealing, and totally disrespectful to me and my husband, and has been arrested twice. Only God knows what else he was doing, but I'm sure it wasn't good. Addiction genes run deep in both of our families, so both of our kids, are unfortunately, genetically loaded with addiction predispositions. To say we've been concerned would be the understatement of the century. We've been to counseling many times, without avail.
All through these past years, Jordy has had a self-righteous I'm right, you're wrong, the cops are wrong, attitude. Pot's not bad, it's natural and grown in God's earth, 'we're out of touch,' I'm sure you're familiar with the usual arguments. All through this we've earnestly prayed for our son, while this was tearing at every fiber of our beings. Steve and I have had all the guilt issues, all the blame issues, all of the 'what did we do wrong arguments.' "You spoiled him rotten," Steve said, "All you did was scream at him, I rallied." Satan was having a field day in this house and in the life of our son. On and on it went for a few years. But throughout, we did manage to continue to pray for him, and ask our friends and family to pray for him. That was the glue that was holding us together, absolutely no doubt about it. I knew it and Steve knew it too.
But deep within my soul, I truly felt that Jordy was going to come out of this bad spell and shine for God. Especially these past 6 months, I just felt so strongly that God had his hand on our son and in His time he would be ok. It's that waiting thing that is always so difficult, isn't it? It was ripping my husband's heart apart. He was so discouraged and disappointed.
About a month ago, Jordy violated his probation and a warrant was issued for his arrest. After about spending 5 weeks hiding somewhere (we don't know where), he finally did the right thing, and turned himself into the jail one week ago today. All through his legal issues these past few years, Steve and I have backed away, with the attitude of "He got himself into this, he's gotta get himself out." The first time he was arrested a few years ago, he bailed himself out. This time, Jordy called us from the jail, begging us to get him out. It seems his bail was quite a bit higher than he had figured, and he didn't have enough money. He called 4 times, and tearfully we told him no, that we were not going to bail him out. The last time he called, he seemed more at peace with his situation, which I felt better about. We told him again that we and alot of other people were praying for him."
We didn't hear from him on Saturday, which I thought was odd, but I knew that the Lord was working in his heart. We went to church on Sunday morning, praying and praising the Lord with much faith When we returned home the phone rang. Again, we accepted the collect charges. He began talking...." Mom," silence....."Yes Jordy, how are you doing today?" "Mom, I've better than I've been in a long, long time." Then the tears flowed as he began to pour his heart out. "Mom, I'm so sorry for everything I've put you and Dad through." You guys were right about everything. I was so, so wrong." Can you ever forgive me for everything I've done and said to you?" I assured him to it was already done and that I loved him so very much and so happy that the Lord was moving in his life. I told him that God was answering our prayers!!!
He talked to his Dad, and for the first time in years, I heard Steve say "It's ok pal, I forgive you." Hearing those familiar and precious words from his loving father, gladdened my heart so much. I haven't heard Steve call his son "pal" in many years because Jordy hasn't acted much like anyone's pal for quite a while, especially his father's.
Last night, we went to see Jordy at jail and I am thrilled to say that he is a new and different man. He had a big smile on his face, which I haven't seen in quite a while. He shared with us that since he turned himself in, God has really been working on him. He began reading a book called Coming Clean, about a man, who was a Columbian Drug Lord who turned his life around and is a born again Christian. Then Sunday he went to church at jail. As he walked back to his cell, he said he collapsed on the floor crying, "Forgive me Jesus for my many sins." All the people around him were looking at him and staring and he said "I didn't care Mom, I just kept asking God to forgive me for all my sins against Him and against my Mother and Father. I composed myself and I got up and went back to my cell. The first thing I wanted to do was call you and Dad."
Honestly, I can say that I have never seen my son like this before in his short life. I've seen him upset, but I've never seen him repentant for any of his actions. A few months ago, during one of his short stays back at home, he did go to church, and through an old family friend, went to the altar and accepted Jesus or so he said. But then, within 24 hours it was business as usual. This time, I believe that it is the real deal. He admitted to us that not only was he addicted to pot, he was quickly approaching becoming an alcoholic, as well. That really didn't surprise me, but it was still a bit of a shock. He said "I've sinned so much Mom, enough for a lifetime."I'm done with it, I want to live my life for Jesus now." God has answering our many prayers, friends...
As we were talking last night, and the time ticked down on the clock, 5 minutes, 4 minutes, he looked at me and asked me if we could pray. I sat, composing myself for a second to begin my praye for him, but Jordy began on his own with this heartfelt prayer of praise and repentance, head bowed and left arm raised, praising God. It was one of the most beautiful things I have even seen.
He said "Please tell everybody I know how sorry I am if I've hurt them Mom, and tell them thank you so much for all their prayers. They mean so much, God was listening to those prayers, cause He changed my life. I'm never going back. I'm gonna make you and Dad proud. I'm going to live my life for God now."
WOW - You talk about God moving! He has moved with a Mighty Hand in the life of my son in his perfect time! Thank you to everyone of you who have prayed for Jordy. Stay tuned and see what God is going to do in the life of His young, changed servant." Jordy's certainly not perfect, and I'm sure he will make many mistakes, as we all do. He'll stumble, cause he's human, but for the first time in a long while, Jordy has turned over a new leaf and is ready to begin again and I am so thankful to the Lord. Thank you Jesus!
My verse for today is from 2nd Corinthians 5:19
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come!"
My prayer for today:
Holy, Holy, Holy God:
Thank you so much for the work you are doing in Jordy's life. Thank you for bringing him back to you. Thank you for lifting the veil from his eyes. Thank you for answering all the many prayers that have been lifted up on his behalf. Thank you for faithful Christian friends and family. Thank you for your son Jesus, that took it upon himself to die for our sins, so that we may have new life. Strengthen and empower Jordy to move forward with a new life in serving you. Protect him from the Satan, the enemy and his schemes. Have Jordy turn to you Lord for his help, not to alcohol and drugs. Thank you for the life of this blessed son of ours.
